Shopping Commentary: ShopBop

This week on: Shopping Commentary! I am doing this ad hoc when I feel like it. It started with this Week of Money post where I looked through Simons’ sale rack, and here is my one from Net-a-Porter..

I only look at the sale section because retail makes me itchy..

Most of it looked pretty normal and only a few items stood out to me at first glance.

“This is a literal APRON dress”

We are just running out of ideas, taking aprons and making dresses out of it. I think I may have seen this for sale at Williams Sonoma or Anthropologie for way cheaper than $252.94 CAD…

It really doesn’t look that bad, but it looks like.. an.. APRON.

“WALLPAPER THAT GOT CONFUSED WITH A ZEBRA”

I.. I can’t even. I am sort of confused by all the stripes, it looks very strange to me in general, but then I see someone actually BOUGHT THE DRESS and gave it 5-stars.

Guess I can’t say anything.

May have been one of you. 😛

“STUNNING MODERN MAXI GOWN”

This Black Halo Maxi Gown probably one of the most beautiful, most modern, stunning gowns I have seen in a long time.

The stomach is not even bothering me because it is just a sliver of stomach, and the top of it looks incredible, just a little off the shoulder on the right… it is just such a perfect dress.

If only I had an event to go to in it..

“WAIT, IS THIS A TOP, TUNIC, DRESS OR A TABLECLOTH?”

I’m serious. “Run Run away from this dress“, for sure. Final sale at $500? It is TERRIBLE.

Looks like a picnic tablecloth they draped around a person, and the length is just so damn short.. omfg…

“I NEED TO START FINDING EVENTS TO GO TO”

Found another beautiful dress from Cinq a Sept. Totally up my alley. Modern front cut, gorgeous side draping that of course ties into a knot and looks like a dream.

I just LOVE the two mix of fabrics — slightly shiny silk (?) against the matte cotton, with a bit of a cutout that isn’t too in-your-face for cleavage or showing skin.

This is the kind of interesting, sexy dress I’d wear to events. Not something with my chest hanging out (if I had one to show off that is), but something elegant.

“I AM PRETTY SURE THIS IS A SCHOOL UNIFORM SOMEWHERE”

These designers are punking us right? I mean for real, this looks like a school uniform. What grown woman in her right mind, would want to wear this? Not ironically? Not to a costume party?

The proportions don’t even look right, and it just looks off. The whole thing looks terrible.

“SAW THIS AT CANADIAN TIRE AS A BBQ COSY….”

… then I cut out a little hole for the head, and decided to wear it like a poncho and charge over $2500 for it, which is now a steal for only $1000…

“GUAPA!?!? FEO…”

This dress was pretty presumptuous in calling itself “guapa” as its name which means ‘beautiful’ in Spanish. It is more ‘feo’ (ugly) than anything…

“ADDING THE WORD ‘UNICORN’ MEANS WE CAN JACK UP THE PRICE, BECAUSE UNICORNS ARE TRENDY…”

I am pretty sure that is what Jourden thought when they made this dress. It’s basically a tiered slip made out of car cover with some rainbow “unicorn” fluff at the end. I honestly think I would see this on the final sale rack in Winners for $20.

“THE 80s ARE BACK”

In full force. Power shoulder and all. The more I look at this dress, the less I hate it, but absolutely NO ONE will be able to wear this and look good. Even the model looks unsure.

“WHAT A GOLDEN GIRL WOULD WEAR AT HOME”

Not that it’s a bad thing, but for $300, this looks like some off the rack Kmart house dress….

“SIZED FOR A TODDLER”

For real. I feel like this would look cute on a little girl. It also looks sized for a small child too.

“AND DOUBLES AS A FLOTATION DEVICE!”

It detaches. I wasn’t sure if you got that… but it actually comes apart so that your entire midriff could be showing, as your skirt slips down your body because it is no longer attached to your dress…….

…  I can’t go on. There was too much.

Until next time!