AM A ‘RIDICULOUS’ PARENT WHO IS RAISING A DYSFUNCTIONAL CHILD
I’d like to present to you the Opinion of Others Parents, or what every parent has had to face at one point or another:
Taking the easy way out and avoiding being in charge of things always seems like the easiest choice but the long term consequences are dire. Kids have to learn that they can’t have their way simply by persisting at misbehaving. Helpless unless you had a six foot fence or locked the child in their room? Listen to yourself, that’s ridiculous. Good parenting means saying no, alot, and enforcing loving structure in children’s lives.
To which I say:
No parent knows it all nor is perfect.
Yes, saying “No” and enforcing a loving structure is how children should be raised, and just because I am choosing to not fight this particular battle and force my son to sleep alone, doesn’t mean I am not doing saying “No” and giving in all the time to my toddler.
Actually, it’s kind of funny. I am probably one of the stricter parents out there, as my family and friends can attest to.
It’s not like I’m mixing heroin in his food. I’m co-sleeping with my toddler, it isn’t the end of the world, and is actually something a lot of people around the world (as I discovered) do.
Even here in North America, I have met parents who are vehement in forcing their children to sleep alone at night, but even they have bent the rules from time to time (on vacation for instance) to co-sleep with their children.
If their children had a choice, they’d sleep with their parents, from what I hear. What’s wrong with giving in to that, at the sacrifice of being able to sleep alone as adults?
It is true I did not choose to voluntarily co-sleep with my toddler, and I have at one point let him cry ito out as a baby to sleep alone without waking up for any more milk, but I am making a choice NOW to sleep with him in a family bed rather than forcing him to go through the drama of “learning” how to sleep on his own.
We are choosing to empathize with him as a child who requires at this age, the security of two warm adult bodies at night until he decides for himself he is old enough to be sleeping alone. It is not what I want as an individual, but it is what we have picked as a family.
He’ll get there eventually. It won’t last forever.
Lastly, just because I co-sleep also doesn’t mean I won’t raise a “functional” child who is well-behaved and intelligent. That has nothing to do with anything.
For my partner and I, who are both highly functional, successful and I daresay pathologically independent adults by almost all measures, we ourselves, co-slept with our families until about the age of 7 and we haven’t turned out for the worse. I’m sure my parents did not choose to do this, but they did it anyway.
(They even do it now with the grandchildren when they visit, but the kids sleep independently from their parents.)
My whole point of this, is to not to attack any parent. Ever.
…but realize that you’re not always right and what you do, is not always the only way to do it.
You are doing what you think is best for you and your family, and no one loves their children more than their parents no matter what they do and choose as their lifestyle.
You have to pick and choose your battles. Kids are not always going to do what you want.
Enough. On to more important matters….
THE FRENCH ARE DEDICATED TO QUALITY
… read all about it here. I promise it’s a funny post.
And very true… I should know, I’m the one who wrote it. 😉
NO RESOLUTIONS THIS YEAR
I am debating whether I should stay firm to saying: NO RESOLUTIONS this year, but I think I shall.
Every time I make them, I smash them within the first few months out of pure rebellion. I’m obstinate like that.
At any rate, I have some soft goals I’d like to see if I can hit this year, most notably:
- Work & make more money again *shakes fist at hiring managers* and after I get to work, start back up with saving pots of money again.
- Add fewer items to my wardrobe – I have started just making lists of What I Want, and I am realizing it is helping me look at it more objectively when it’s written down / listed, and in many cases I think: Really? Don’t need that, after all, eh?
- Eat even more vegetarian/vegan – I am doing well but I would like to see if I can make it work more often; thus far, vegan sushi has proven to be a winner.