I must confess. As of late, I have been consumed and obsessed with the idea of confirming to myself if I should have a second child or not.
PROS TO A SECOND CHILD
A sibling for Little Bun. They can play together.
I would have another little baby to love all over again.
Little Bun would be a fantastic, loving, big brother. I can see it.
I keep seeing a fourth missing spot in the bed where we all sleep.
I always imagined at least two children (original decision), and now that we are all sleeping, it seems doable… and crazy.
CONS TO A SECOND CHILD
If I leave this contract (The Perfect Contract, I call it), I may never get called back again.
What if my pregnancy is much worse and terrible than the first time around which was so easy and happy go lucky?
Can I go through another sleepless year or 5 years? We are all sleeping SO WELL now.
How long can I take as a maternity leave? 3 months? 6 months? I would want to re-secure this contract again ASAP.
What if they replace me and do not need or want me back?
What if I run out of money? I have a lot for now, but what if I go 3 years without working? <–Fears of a freelancer.
What if my relationship with my partner breaks? It is strong now, and we are in a VERY good place. Would a baby ruin that? Lack of sleep kills your brain.
What if my partner doesn’t want the second? I have a feeling that he does but he sees the work in the second being quite unbearable without family help.
Would Little Bun hate his sibling? I don’t want animosity.
What if the second is worse than Little Bun when he was a Baby Bun? OMFG. What if he/she is the DEVIL?
What if my partner resents the second child from not being able to retire earlier?