2 responses to “Money Talk: What do you want to leave behind (for kids or others)?”

1. 

   emily

   July 20, 2019

   I believe that making children, consciously or unconsciously (through promises, verbal expression), wait for an inheritance is actually detrimental to our relationship with them and to their own development as human beings.

   I have met several people who waited for their parents to die in order to inherit them – not a way I’d like my children to feel about me. For example, they made calculations about how much the parents’ house would be worth in today’s economy. And the parents weren’t even on the point of dying. (And what if the parents sold in the meantime?)

   Others pressed their parents to give them their “inheritance” now because they needed it now.
   I think this is pretty ugly, don’t you?

   I mean you work your entire life so that you can have a comfortable retirement and not be a burden on anyone, but the children need your goods and money and you are not even dead yet – or rich. And when you are out of money, who is going to give YOU money? (Even if your own child would help you out, giving money to relatives is a cause of great tension between spouses so I wouldn’t count on a (married) child to help me out with money. Also, I’d feel embarrassed about it.)

   So I think the best we can give our children is a good breeding and education, good values and help them become independent as this will give them a great life satisfaction and mental health (much better than waiting indefinitely for someone to die).

   Reply
   1. 

      Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      July 22, 2019

      Hear hear.

      I love your view on this. My view is also to just live my life and let Little Bun live his. Whatever he gets at the end, he gets — or not. I may have to sell the place to pay for my own care. Who knows?

      I’d rather have him be independent and expect nothing from me, the way I expect and do not want my parents’ money.

      Reply