So this is my current list of stuff I find utterly useless and a waste of money for mothers.
As I mentioned once in the past, anything that has “baby” or “maternity” in its vicinity is likely to be jacked up by 300% in pricing; the same effect that the words “bride“, “groom” and “wedding” have on bakers and caterers.
Once you start shopping for baby things, you will think to yourself:
HOLY CRAP, WHAT A BUSINESS. We are all in the wrong industry!!
Seriously, it’s a scam.
I think it’s even MORE of a scam being that I am a minimalist to boot.
Note: This list is partly tongue-in-cheek but I am totally serious about my answers.
I am glad I didn’t buy any lessons but I paid $20 plus taxes to go to one class to see what I would learn. We spent 15 minutes waxing poetic about our pregnancies, and all I could think was: GET TO IT LADY, I am paying $0.33 a minute to listen to you and others yap about themselves!
Then when we got to the poses, as someone who already practices yoga, I found them far too easy and simple to be actual yoga. Felt more like stretching before a workout to me.
Do regular yoga, just be careful to not squish the baby, lie on your belly, do exercises on your back with a heavy load in front, and to not over-exert or over-stretch yourself. Don’t waste your money on prenatal yoga unless you have never done yoga before, in which case you will need an instructor to teach you the poses.
(But honestly, why don’t you just walk half an hour a day?)
Okay, so they can be wiped down and cleaned, but it’s a bloody BAG.
If I’m really concerned with bodily fluids leaking into my purse, I’ll pack it into a ziploc bag before putting it in my purse.
Plus, diaper bags are ugly.
I don’t care how cute yours looks, it’s fugly because it’s a diaper bag. Even a Longchamp bag would be preferable to a diaper bag, in my opinion.
I’m just going to use my current purses to hold baby stuff. Specifically, my Longchamp (lightweight, plastic, easy to wash and stylish), or my Samsara vegan leather bag (it’s plastic but looks like leather).
As I mentioned before, I think most maternity wear is pretty hideous.
I only bought maternity jeans and a single maternity top that is maternity-specific for the bump. Otherwise, my entire wardrobe to take care of my growing bump will be pieces I can wear AFTER I give birth.
I paid about $300 for the jeans which is a LOT OF MONEY and $25 for the top, but that’s it for all the kids I will carry.
Some women go all out on a whole wardrobe…!
This is not to everyone’s taste, but I hate the idea of furniture that will not have a purpose beyond its 6 months, even if it converts into a toddler bed.
(Those things never work out, or so parents tell me. They always end up buying a real bed for the kid.)
Twin-sized 4-layer all-cotton Japanese futon as a baby bed for the floor (this is how I slept as a baby and how I sleep now, no joke), and this will be the kids’ futon as they get older.
It’s how we sleep, so why not?
I know the changing table can be an actual dresser or table after, but I hate uni-purpose furniture (actually, furniture in general), so…
Changing baby on a curved changing station that has straps to hold the squirmy child, but no specific “table” or dresser to be purchased.
Are you kidding me? If I didn’t like rocking chairs before, I am certainly not buying one for the kid. Rocking chairs make me nauseous because of the rocking motion (who would have thought!?), so I am nixing this purchase in the bud.
No rocking chair. I’ll rock myself with the baby in it. Or just carry the baby around.
It’s cute, and I ooh-and-ahh over how cute everyone else’s nurseries are, but … I am not buying anything to decorate.
Baby has me to look at.
EDUCATIONAL TOYS FOR NEWBORNS
Baby Einstein? Baby Mozart? Sounds like a scam to me.
My mother didn’t have any of that, and we all turned out to be good students who could play an instrument easily. I don’t think babies have enough developed in their brains to really understand what it is they’re looking at.
I think all of these educational toys are a way for parents to self-soothe their guilty conscience about not being there for their kid 24/7 because they have to work and so on.
I’m their teacher for piano for the start, and I’ll be helping them learn languages, etc. Good enough. Then they go to school and we help them if they need it.
A serious waste of money.
It’s not that I don’t want to stroll my baby around, but those things are massive, and serve only one purpose: to handle newborns until month 3 – 6, then it’s totally useless.
Even before a mother told me about how useless they are at $200 a pop because she found it more annoying to try and move the baby from the carseat over to the stroller and back, I had a gut feeling that someone meant SPECIFICALLY for newborns would be a waste of money.
She told me just to carry the kid from the house to the car, and back, and to use a baby carrier instead of a stroller for a newborn. This, I already figured out but it was nice to have it reinforced.
Strollers that start at 6 months, and car seats that go from newborn to age 4 1/2 (mandatory for safety).
Just walk into any baby store and you will be overwhelmed.
BABY CLOTHES THAT ARE FASHIONABLE
If you think I’m the type of mother who will pay $30 for a cute pair of pants that the kid will outgrow in 2 weeks, you’re off YOUR rocker.
White and neutral-coloured clothing to go from newborn to 18 months, before they can start forming opinions and asking for things with colours (if at all).
Actually, no opinions allowed in this household for anyone under the age of 5 at all.
These are the only clothes they will own, and unless they want to start working to buy fashionable items for themselves, I will have to be dragged kicking and screaming to buy them anything I deem impractical especially since they grow like WEEDS.
This may or may not be your thing but I am cloth diapering, so I need a diaper pail to hold dirty diapers.
That said, if you are using disposables, you might need a system that locks your dirty diapers into a tight ball of odour-free bulbousness, but even so, I’m sure it’ll not smell like roses and candy.
“Diaper pails”, as they are specifically called, serve only one purpose — to hold dirty diapers, but the price tag say otherwise at $30 a pop.
I am buying a garbage can with a lid for $10.
Honestly, doesn’t it do the same thing anyway, and only for $10 and made in Canada to boot?