I am not paying for college educations, and I am certainly not giving money for a wedding.
This sounds pretty cheap to most people but let me explain my rationality:
I don’t want to give money based on the choices that my children decide to make or not make.
NO MONEY FOR COLLEGE OR FOR WEDDINGS
If they decide not to go to college, would it be fair for me to give their brother or sister money to pay for their college educations? No.
What if they decided just to start working out of school? Or start a business? Or go to trade school instead?
If they decided not to get married, would it be fair for me to not give them anything, even though I gave their brother or sister money for their weddings? No.
Why should they only get money if they decide to make a certain life choice?
I for instance, do not want to get married or have a wedding so I can understand this perfectly.
My parents didn’t give anything to my siblings when they got married, and at least that’s fair to me because it would be truly annoying to see them give them $30,000 for a choice that they made, and $0 to me just because I made a different choice in life.
Any choice you make in life costs money, and I find it unfair that a parent would give money only if a child decided to go to college or get married.
IF I GAVE MONEY, I’D GIVE EQUAL AMOUNTS TO EACH CHILD
If/When I give money to my children, they’re all getting the same amount regardless of what life choice they have decided to make for themselves.
If one kid gets $25,000, the rest of them get it.
If I can’t afford to give each child $25,000 fairly, I won’t give the money (or I will give less).
I’d rather give money to my children without any strings attached.
OF COURSE, THIS IS AFTER THEY HAVE ESTABLISHED GOOD MONEY HABITS
I won’t be giving them any money before the age of 25 at a minimum.
Until you get out in the real world and realize what life costs, and demonstrate to me as a parent that you are financially responsible, I won’t be wasting my hard earned dollars on my kids.
(Yes, MY hard earned dollars.)
I’ve seen far too many cases of neighbours, friends and colleagues who are in their 30s, 40s even 50s, asking for their parents to give them a handout or a financial helping hand each time they get themselves into money trouble.
Or whining when their parents are all tapped out.
Usually, their money troubles are their own — they bought a house and/or car, then decided to upgrade to a newer one, or they just don’t know how to manage their money.
If all my kids turn out to be bums, at least I’ll be set for my retirement and I’ll equally portion out my inheritance to each of them .. that is, if I leave anything at the end of my anticipated long life.