In Discussions, Life

I wonder what it would be like to be with someone famous

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be with someone famous.

Never mind actually being someone famous, that thought has always scared the beejebus out of me, because it would mean I couldn’t actually go anywhere normal like a restaurant or a grocery store, and have a private moment to myself in public to do something very ordinary for myself.

I’d like the fortune, but not the fame if that’s the package deal.

I’m talking as famous as Marilyn Monroe, or any other big name, A-List star of today.

Someone totally, utterly recognizable even when “incognito”.

Beijing-China-Photograph-Collecting-Bicycle-Recycling

 

(Maybe not this guy, but he COULD become famous from this blog, no?)

I was thinking about this as I read through a book that mentioned Marilyn Monroe a bit and how she helped popularized sexy pinup “CFM” (Come F*ck Me) shoesโ€ฆ (Read: Women from the Ankle Down).

It mentioned that everyone saw Marilyn as a sexy, untouchable Hollywood bombshell icon when in fact she was just someone who wanted to be loved for being her — Norma Jean Baker, not necessarily the persona of Marilyn Monroe she ended up having to play all the time (not that she hated it, but I suppose it became tiring after a while and she craved a bit of normal, private time).


Her second husband Joe DiMaggio was apparently very traditional and Italian, and expected her to stay at home and do traditional wifely duties, but it was just too hard because everywhere she went, she was Marilyn Monroe.

Not someone’s wife.

She was ogled all the time (not an easy thing for a husband to handle), and she herself had a desperate hunger and need to be loved by the public eye to substitute for her lack of a loving childhood, so she was always “on” to please people to obtain that love.

Marilyn tried to be his wife and do the things “normal” wives did back then, but she was too big of a star, which is why their marriage endedโ€ฆ. as did all of her others.

It made me think of how plenty of stars today, come up with their own onstage personas to try separate THEM from who they really are to the performer in them.

dita_von_teese

 

  • David Bowie was Ziggy Stardust
  • Dana Owens is Queen Latifah
  • Sasha Fierce is Beyonce Knowles
  • Shawn Carter is Jay-Z
  • Stefani Germanotta is Lady Gaga
  • Heather Sweet is Dita von Teese (Via)

Maybe they do it because they need to, otherwise their persona becomes who they are even if it isn’t the case.

So if these big name stars themselves have to try and reconcile who they are on stage versus who they are in real life, can you imagine being the spouse or partner of one?

Everywhere they go, they’re ogled, fantasized about, lavished special attention upon, and you as the partner hanger-on, are the one everyone is jealous, petty or even catty about.

“Why is he with HER? She’s not even hot.”

“Why is she with HIM? He’s a nobody.”

Maybe that’s why stars tend to date within their own circles of celebrity status. It becomes too difficult to try and be with someone normal because they won’t understand what it’s like to have so much attention heaped on them all the time and not crack.

Tiger Woods for example, cracked.

He had a string of (18 is the final count is it?) lovers, cheating on his lovely wife Elin. The fame and fortune was too much for him to handle, and he couldn’t stay faithful to her being tempted 24/7 by gorgeous women throwing themselves at him.

Stars date stars so that they can immediately understand what each other is going through, but to perhaps relieve their guilt about the unwanted intrusion into their partner’s lives, not to mention the comments.

I suppose it can also be hard to be the one who is always ignored, although you aren’t ignored and a “nobody” for long if you choose to try and brand yourself in the glow of your partner’s starlight and cash in on it, for lack of a better term.

(Thinking of Britney Spears and her dancer husband Kevin Federline right now.)

In a way, it’s a rather sad life.

Some people crave such celebrity (I clearly do not), and I wonder how those spouses who are not celebrities, handle all of that pressure from being with a celebrity without breaking.



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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

I got out of $60,000 of debt in 18 months using TheBudgetingTool.com. Since then, I have worked 50% of my career (taking 1-2 year breaks), and quadrupled my income within 2 years of graduating, going from $65K to $260K (savings rate = 85%). I could retire today if I wanted, but love my work-life balance as a freelancing consultant in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). I also post daily on Instagram @saverspender.

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13 Comments

  1. J
    Jaime Lila

    A lot of celebrity relationships end, there’s a lot of temptation at the top and many female and male entertainers cheat. So while I’m sure it’s glamorous to be with a celebrity it doesn’t sound very stable.

    Also a lot of celebrities treat people in a disposable manner, they go through so many relationships because they know they have other people who are willing to date them.

    I think that it’s wrong to treat people as if they are disposable. It’s sad.

    Reply
    1. save. spend. splurge.

      I think it is easier to treat people as disposable than it is to make a relationship work, which is why celebrity relationships that last more than 3 years are so amazing.

      Reply
  2. Lisa E. @ Lisa Vs. The Loans

    I think it would be fun to be an actor, but I don’t really want to deal with the fame. I think fans put up celebrities on this pedestal that gives them a pressure we can never really understand.

    Reply
    1. saverspender @ save. spend. splurge.

      I think it would be horrifying to be an actress which is probably why I also can’t get my head wrapped around the idea of ALSO having to deal with fame ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  3. femmefrugality

    Joe and Marilyn also broke up because he was beating her. Granted he was beating her because of that jealously of other men oggling her and the fact that she wasn’t being the traditional wife that he wanted. But I don’t think beating a woman is ever really justifiable.

    As for people that are in relationships with celebrities, there was a pretty interesting article on this with Patrick Wilson’s wife: http://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/patrick-wilsons-wife-puts-the-lena-dunham-controversy-to-res

    Reply
    1. saverspender @ save. spend. splurge.

      I guess it came with the “traditional Italian male” philosophy, but is never acceptable as you have already said.

      Thanks for the link — I’ll go read that now!

      Reply
    2. saverspender @ save. spend. splurge.

      Just read the article. NICE, is all I can say.

      Reply
  4. Victoria Virgo

    It’s been a while since I have commented, so firstly – congrats on the baby news. I was really confused when I read your recently post which featured maternity wear…

    Anyways – back to this post. I feel that it must be really challenging to be in a relationship with not only friends and family butting in but also the media, facebook users and twitterers.

    As the non-famous person in the coupling, you either have to be made of real stern stuff and be super confident in your own person.

    As the famous person in the coupling, you have to constantly work at ignoring the the adulation of strangers who are so ready to stroke that ego and more.

    It is always great to hear of the love stories and the couples that make it and a real tragedy for those who don’t.

    Reply
    1. saverspender @ save. spend. splurge.

      HAHAHAHHA! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you very much. Yes, I know it’s a surprise.. ๐Ÿ™‚

      I like hearing about stories of couples like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith because they seem to make it work, even if they are both celebrities I think he’s the bigger celeb of the two.

      Reply
  5. Tammy R

    Mochimac, this is what I fear with CJ. His lady glasses and purse are going to create a flurry of female and male admirers around him, and then I will be nothing. Fear not, I will not fade into the background and start cooking and cleaning though! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Honestly, I don’t know how the spouses do it. I think many of them must be very confident in themselves and, hopefully, they have their own means by which to earn money. Relying on someone else for financial stability must lead some people to live in fear which, in turn, can lead to a control freak. To bad Old Joe D. couldn’t relax a little and be a non-traditional Italian like CJ. Perhaps they could have met each other’s needs!

    Reply
    1. saverspender @ save. spend. splurge.

      *falls over laughing* You had me at ‘lady glasses’.

      “Normal” people probably deal with it because they have to, but maybe they’re just relieved no one recognizes them.

      Reply
  6. C
    CorianneM

    Yeah, I don’t want to be famous! It just seems awful that some of them always need bodyguards/security people to even the most mundane things in life.

    Anyway, I always joke I got a taste of being famous in China. Especially when you travel outside the big cities, people stare at you or once a group of girls even ran after my friend and me to take a picture with us. Crazy people!

    Reply
    1. saverspender @ save. spend. splurge.

      OH YES! WE HAD THAT TOO ๐Ÿ™‚ Everyone loves a non-Chinese person, and it’s like… a photo scavenger hunt nation-wide to take as many photos with foreigners as possible and show them to friends.

      Reply

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