I really don’t care what my kids will do as a profession when they’re older
…as long as it isn’t illegal or otherwise salacious, I’m okay with pretty much any profession.
(No leaders of mafias, strippers, or drug dealers please.)
Because they’re the ones who chose it and are going to live with it.
I am in no way going to help them, bail them out, or otherwise fix their messes if they choose to go down a path that pays near to nothing.
They will of course have all of this drilled into their heads well before they reach the age of rebellion (16 is it?), and they will KNOW that if they end up as a singer/actor/songwriter, they will have to live with the consequences (read: near poverty) of their choice.
Even before they GET to choosing that path of near poverty, I will be helping them figure out how much that job realistically pays and what they will have to live on based on what that degree might bring (if they need a degree for it).
EYES. WIDE. OPEN.
THEY WILL KNOW what it’s like to live on a budget by the time they’re old enough to have part-time jobs, and I will make sure that they know what it pays in their chosen profession (student debt payments included and all), so that they know what kind of choice they’re making (not to scare them or anything, but reality is a far harsher mistress than I could ever be).
If they still decide to go for it, then it’s their choice.
FORCING KIDS INTO YOUR OWN VISION DOESN’T PAY
I’m not going to force them into a job they don’t like. I’ve already seen what it does to kids.
See, I have a friend who wanted to be a marine biologist or a veterinarian. She loooooves animals to death and would gladly take care of them in any capacity.
Unfortunately, her parents owned a thriving business and had already decided she would be the heir to their throne out of all the kids they had (the other ones were older and got to sneak out of this duty by the time their career choices rolled around).
It’s not to say she hates her job and can’t stand it, she likes it enough, but it wasn’t what she wanted to choose for herself and that is what hurts her the most.
She had no say, and it made her (and still makes her) resentful to this day.
Do I want to do that to my kids? No.
EVEN IF THEY END UP IN GREAT JOBS WITH HEAVY DEBT..
Even if they decide to take expensive degrees, I am not going to be helping them unless I can help their siblings as well.
I’ve seen resentment build between siblings where one aspiring doctor sibling got $50,000 as a gift to help towards his education while his brother who chose to be something a little less expensive (electrician), got squat.
His doctor sibling also had his parents buy 2 cars for them — for him and his fiancee, and you guessed it… the electrician brother had to pay for his own car, and bought it secondhand in cash.
I think the stronger one in the end is the electrician, but even so, it must grate on his nerves to be treated so unfairly.
If I give $50,000 to one, the other ones will be getting a cheque for that amount as well. It’s only fair, and I am sure I won’t have $150,000 to throw around willy nilly, so they can count on getting $0 from me until I feel truly secure.
I CAN ONLY HOPE THEY DON’T END UP AS DEADBEATS
Sure, I don’t want to see them end up in dead end jobs, but if that’s what they want, that’s what they’re going to live with.
I’ll support them emotionally and accept it, I just won’t support them financially like I see some parents doing.
My reasoning is as follows:
If they’re old enough to decide on a career for the rest of their life for the next 40+ years, then they’re old enough to pay for it on their own, as independent, strong adults.