How to stop caring about people who whine about their lives but are too lazy to change
For most people this is true — you don’t necessarily need more money to be happy, you just need to change the way you see your life.
You can truly choose to see your life as a big pile of crap, full of missed opportunities, or inability to “make it” like the others around you, or you can see it for what it is — full of great things, like a family that loves you unconditionally, and being happy and content for who you are at the core.
YOUR HAPPINESS IS PSYCHOLOGICAL, NOT FINANCIAL
It has frustrated me to no end in the past when I hear people tell me that their life sucks because of any of these reasons:
- They have a crappy diploma they can’t use to get a better job
- They need more money (“need” being relative, as these folks make $50,000+)
- ALL of their problems would be solved if they had more money
- They don’t see anything wrong with other (richer) relatives subsidizing their life
- … in fact, they expect that if you’re richer than they are, your money is their money
I am working on trying not to get frustrated when I hear these things because in the end, it just annoys me more than I think.
I internalize such anger and frustration at these ridiculous statements, when in fact their lives have nothing to do with how I want to live my life.
So my new rule is to just avoid these folks in an attempt to stop causing myself grief.
This is hard to just stop seeing and caring about these people, but it’s really taking up a lot of time and making me angry each time I think about it.
The fact of the matter is that I get angry because I care… perhaps a little too much.
I just want to see them happy and that’s where I get suckered into helping them, and essentially wasting my time on people who don’t care.
So now, I avoid seeing them, I avoid interacting with them, and I’ve effectively limited this source of frustration from my life which is far more beneficial to my well-being and mental health.
I have to learn to NOT care because even though I can talk myself blue in the face giving advice, help, connecting them with people, and giving them everything but the actual steps to a better career and life… they don’t care enough to follow my advice.
IF THEY DON’T CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES, WHY SHOULD I?
If the next time I see them, it’s the same goddamn whining and problems all over again, then I’m the idiot.
I’m the real donkey here who thought that they actually wanted to change their lives instead of bitching about it all the time.
Not a donkey, but close. I think I’d be that goat nearer to the back.
In the end, they just like bitching and complaining, and my nature is to want to help them to my own detriment and destruction.
I think this would be a lot harder if they were my kids, but luckily, they’re only relatives and casual friends.
Your happiness is truly in your mind.
It has nothing to do with your career, your crappy diploma, your dead-end job or the way you think your life should have been.
IF ANYONE CARES, HERE ARE MY TIPS (SO FAR) ON BEING HAPPIER
- Stop comparing yourself to others. You are not your sister/brother/cousin/friend.
- Look at your own life (examine it hard!) and find all the great things in it.
- If you must compare then compare your life to someone who lives in Africa and has to walk miles to get basics like clean water, or in Brazil living in favelas.
- Understand that having more money or a better job comes with more WORK & stress.
- Understand that having more money doesn’t insulate you from having to live life.
- Cut out any repetitive sources of frustration and grief from your life – you don’t need it.