In Career, Discussions, Discussions, Life, Money, Parenting, Salary, Women

Fathers should take the same amount of parental leave off as Mothers

If men were forced to take off 50% of the parental leave time, it’d be better for everyone all around.

So if a mother would take a year off, she would now split that time with the father. 6 months and 6 months. Or 9 months and 3 months. Whatever it is, the minimum amount of time to take off should be enforced on all men.

Right now in Quebec it is 5 weeks, which I find very low in terms of time. I think 3 months, ALONE, is the minimum amount of time a father needs to bond with his child.

 

#1 – FATHERS WOULD SEE HOW TOUGH (& WONDERFUL) IT IS

When my partner took the time off and took care of The Bun while I went to work, he started to realize after a week or two what a seriously full-time job it was to take care of him.

It was 24/7.

He would just pass him off to me when I came in the door and go into the bedroom and lie down.

I didn’t particularly find this fair in the sense that I never did that to him when he was working and I was a home, but I did understand.

I was still even getting up early in the mornings before work to take care of The Bun, knowing he had a full day ahead with him.

He now has a much better idea of what it means to take care of The Bun and has a heck of a lot more respect for it.


Plus he loved it. He loved bonding with The Bun in only the way his mother ever did with him.

Montreal-Lovely-Statue-Sherbrooke-Mommy-and-Baby-2

#2 – FATHERS WOULD BUILD A STRONGER BOND WITH THEIR CHILDREN

It’s not babysitting. It’s taking care of your child, which is part of your parental duties.

Fathers would learn how to bond with their children, and when things go wrong they won’t run to Mommy or their main caregiver right away, they would actually have to decide between one or the other.

..it would also give everyone a break if the child is able to be passed off to their fathers while others are busy. Like taking a shower. Or eating.

#3 – THINGS WOULD CHANGE IN THE WORKPLACE

All men, and in particular fathers would now push for more equality in childcare, flexible work hours, paternity leave, and the right to have your job after coming back from leave.

Everything would improve once fathers would see that their careers DO get affected by being out of the workplace, even for a scant 6 months and if everyone forced fathers to take paternity leave, they would understand the struggles of a working mother in greater detail now that they will have to deal with it.

Men would push for everything because they would now be the ones affected by the situation.

Think about it — men in power and in high up positions, probably have wives who stay at home full-time to manage the entire personal side of their lives so that they can go out and conquer the world, but what if we BOTH want to conquer the world? Who takes over then? The nanny?

Fathers never seem to have to answer questions like:

  • Oh when are you planning on going back to work after having the baby?
  • Are you going to stay at home and watch your baby?
  • Are you going to be able to travel with a child at home?
  • When you go back to work, who is going to take care of your child?

ALL of these questions (and more) have been directed to me at one time or another. NEVER, EVER to my partner.

stock-baby-photo-child

He has never once had to answer any of the above questions. In fact, when we were interviewing daycares, they all started with: “When Mommy goes back to work….“, at which point I had to stop them and correct them because it was the other way around.

Then I’d get a weird look.

#4 – FATHERS WOULD TAKE ON HALF OF THE WORKLOAD

Now knowing that taking care of a child is not easy, and sometimes going to the bathroom can be the only break you get all day, they would be more willing to help out with cooking, cleaning and all the household chores that are currently on the shoulders of women, even ones who are in the workforce.

 

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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

Millionaire at 36 after getting out of $60K of student debt in 18 months, a little over a decade earlier, using TheBudgetingTool.com. Since then, I have paid my $600K home in cash (my half was $300K), my $180K casr in cash, worked 50% of my career (taking 1-2 year breaks), and quadrupled my income within 2 years of graduating, going from $65K to $260K with an average lifetime savings rate of 50%. I could retire today if I wanted, but love my work-life balance as a freelancing consultant in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). I am all about balance - between time and money, and also enjoying my money. I also post daily on Instagram @saverspender.

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6 Comments

  1. Clarisse @ Make Money Your Way

    I totally agree with this one. Father should also have a parental leave off so that they will also know the feeling on taking care of a new born baby.

    Reply
  2. Sense

    This inequality and these expectations are part of the reason I don’t want kids. The fact that I’d be looked at weirdly for wanting at least a 50/50 (or higher ratio! dad:mom) split for childcare. It’s just so rarely done and it makes me sad…for everyone.

    Reply
    1. save. spend. splurge.

      But why are we even making that decision? I had to sort of force my partner into it but he has stepped up, given the chance.

      Reply
  3. raluca

    I wholeheartily agree with all of the above. Except men in high positions would still not take the paternity leave and push the kid off to a nanny anyeay. But if enough men did take that 6 months it would impact our work culture in a huge way – in a beneficial way in my oppinion.

    Reply
    1. save. spend. splurge.

      Why don’t we have this as something then? I mean I really don’t get why this is not something all fathers should do.

      I mentioned it to my work colleagues and only a few men were receptive to the idea. The others said: NO WAY. 5 weeks is enough with a baby..

      But how fair is that for the mother? It is not a female duty to take care of your child 24/7 for a year and love it. I mean I just don’t get that.

      Reply

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