In Discussions, In my closet, Style, Women

Did anyone ever say anything to you that made you look at yourself differently?

Always my mother. I can remember a few distinct times my mother has ever said anything about my appearance:

1. When I was a little girl…

I had paired her batwing blue sweater over a green turtleneck, with red corduroy pants and pink shoes, and she comes into my room after I am dressing myself for the morning and exclaimed:

Wow! I never knew you could pair all of those wonderful colours together. I love all the primary shades you picked — red, blue, green…

I remember feeling warm inside and beaming at my ability to match colours and pair items together.

2. When I was about a teenager..

I felt fat, awkward, insecure.. ugly, basically, like all teenagers at that age.

I had on a yellow halter top with jeans I think, and I came downstairs after having showered and she stops, puts her hands on my shoulders and says:

I have such a pretty daughter.

You should show off your body more, enjoy it!

My mom actually pushed and encouraged me to wear miniskirts and lower cut tops (stuff I to this day, still shy away from), because she was burned badly as a child and always had to cover up her body. She has since then, been wistful about never being able to feel free enough to wear clothing to show her cleavage, shoulders or arms….

And now she is older, she feels even more insecure in her body which is sad, but I do find items I think are “her” and will buy them for her, like bright floral graphic prints that remind me of her.

So she takes great pride and happiness in having me look great because it is a reflection upon her, and what she would have wanted to have worn when she was my age. It makes her happy that I look pretty and dress up, and she wants me to always “take care of myself” and dress nicely.

She is still sort of confused why I won’t wear a bikini either at the beach even though I have a “perfect body” she says… She wants me to wear ALL of these items and enjoy my youth, so in deference to her, I try to show a bit more skin than I am used to on weekends because I know it would make her happy.


3. Just recently!

Little Bun and I posed in our apartment and sent the photo to my mother. She called me, and exclaimed on the phone:

What a beautiful photo!

You look like a movie star.

I had.. I had no idea you were just so beautiful. Your skin, your dress….

Wow. I had no idea!!! You’re gorgeous.

That, made me feel quite good. I like making my mother happy and if dressing up and looking pretty does it, I’ll do it.

She of course never minces words either. The other day I remember I was with Little Bun when he was a Baby Bun, and I took a selfie with him and sent it to her. She replied back:

I am worried about you. Are you sleeping enough?

You have so many bags and wrinkles under your eyes!

LOL

I didn’t care because I thought I looked great, I just didn’t have makeup on… 🙂

What about you?

The entire series can be found here: Women in Clothes Style & Fashion Survey

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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

Millionaire at 36 after getting out of $60K of student debt in 18 months, a little over a decade earlier, using TheBudgetingTool.com. Since then, I have paid my $600K home in cash (my half was $300K), my $180K casr in cash, worked 50% of my career (taking 1-2 year breaks), and quadrupled my income within 2 years of graduating, going from $65K to $260K with an average lifetime savings rate of 50%. I could retire today if I wanted, but love my work-life balance as a freelancing consultant in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). I am all about balance - between time and money, and also enjoying my money. I also post daily on Instagram @saverspender.

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6 Comments

  1. Troy Bombardia @ Bull Market

    My wife is really beautiful, but to this day she is still insecure about her body. Her parents raised her saying “you should wear this, you should wear that to look prettier”. Honestly, I think comparing oneself to others doesn’t do people any good. Just be grateful for the way you are.

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      I am actually very sad to hear that. I know parents mean well, but sometimes we have to STFU

      I tell my mother that sometimes.. she criticizes my siblings a lot because she wants to help but I remind her to also compliment.

      Reply
  2. ReadsSSS

    This is a beautiful post. I envy you your relationship with your mother. May she always be safe, fulfilled, and happy! She deserves it, for having nurtured her daughter so well.

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      I tell her that all the time how great she is 🙂 Thank you

      Reply
  3. Elisa

    A very interesting post, and such a nice tribute to your Mom. She is very special. The world would be much better if we consistently emphasize and appreciate the beauty in each person.

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      My mother sees the best in life, having grown up with the worst.

      Reply

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