Dating Help: Where to meet normal, single men or women
I have been happily partnered for a long time but this is what I have observed from my previously single friends (who are now married or about to be)!
BEST PLACE EVER? SCHOOL
If you can meet someone in school, that’s really the easiest, best place to meet them.
You are in the PERFECT environment for dating — shared classes, shared activities, lots of free time, weekends to party & meet other singles, your friends are also dating.. it is really the #1, perfect time to meet your partner.
Out of school? It gets ridiculously hard, but it is not impossible.
Also, as much as I want to be inclusive, I will also note that school pairs you up with a mate who is likely from your same social class and background.
Even if it doesn’t, all the better to meet someone diverse!
As a woman who has dated guys who have once been homeless to having dated guys whose parents thought I used words that were too big and complicated, I can unequivocally tell you from experimentation that someone who is from a similar background & class will fit the best in your life & “get” you.
So school? Perfect. You got the same grades or thereabouts, and ended up in the same school, and maybe even the same industry / major!
SECOND BEST PLACE? WORK
This is where I met my partner, and work affords you kind of the same opportunities to meet someone whom you will click with. You may even have friends in common, go to the same places, etc.
My partner and I are from different age groups & countries (we’re both Canadian immigrants) and of very different social backgrounds, and there is NO WAY our paths would have ever crossed had it not been for our workplace.
But we clicked and have been together ever since.
THEN IF ALL ELSE FAILS…
- Social events – parties, weddings, events, engagements of others, & outings both formal and casual; don’t say “No” and become a social hermit, go out there and MEET people
- Gym – my good friend has been with a guy she is now engaged with because they met at the gym and share a love of physical pain and exertion on torture devices they call ‘exercise machines’ .. Can you tell I don’t work out? 🙂
- Online – I know at least 3 people who have met and gotten engaged from online dating sites
- Night school – Kind of like school, you’re able to meet people who are doing the same thing as you, and you’ll be paired up on projects together & may get to know them.. or maybe their single friends / family members or roommates, better…
- Shared Interest Classes – Yoga (believe it or not, some men are taking this up for their health), cooking, painting, anything with a SHARED interest brings people together in ways you can’t predict
IF YOU’RE PAIRED UP, WHERE DID YOU MEET?
12 Comments
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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.
I heard about Plenty of Fish being good. I haven’t tried any to be honest but if I were single I’d give it all a shot, although at my work, it’s ALL single guys (mostly) so.. haha
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Krystina
Music. If you love music and it is something near and dear to your heart, you can meet people at concerts, church choirs, teaching and learning situations, through friends, the list goes on and on.
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Sense
Interesting! Any advice for (almost) 40-somethings? 🙂 I’m way too old for the other single grad students in my Uni (that is also where I work, so…work has the same cohort as school to choose from basically!). And it seems like all the interesting guys I meet are already married/coupled up. I rarely meet single men my age! I have tried the online thing, etc., and make a huge effort to get my introverted self out there, but nothing seems to work so far.
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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.
You know, I see a lot of single guys at my work in their 40s, and the best way is as other people have said — TO BE SOCIAL! Just get out, go to music fairs, smile, chat people up, comment on things…
You will not believe how many people I meet who just chat with me and we end up being friends.
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Alice
Gaming. I was playing a GPS based game called Ingress where i’d run into other players quite often.
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Anne
I was visiting a foreign city and the first person I stopped in the street to ask the way walked me to my destination.
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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.
I did find in France, they have a culture (OR SO MY PARTNER SAID) of creepily following women they find interesting and then trying to ask them out. FOLLOWING WOMEN. OMG. I told him that was stalking but he said it was part of flirting. I have yet to confirm this with others.
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Anne
Just following women on the street and ask them out really sounds creepy. Unless the guy finds a way to have a legitimate discussion first 🙂
When I was living in France, I once waited for a bus together with some students. Maybe there was a strike, but in any case the bus did not arrrive. A guy drove by the bus stop and offered four students lift to the university in his car. We chatted on the way and he gave me his phone number. Went on a date with him once. Something similar happened in Spain, then it was the janitor’s friend who helped me with my mail box problem. I also got a friend for life after discussing with a stranger in a book shop.
I don’t know if these kind of random encounters leading to a date are completely out of the question in North America, but I have had good experiences of them here in Europe. Of course there are creeps as well, but I think it is not difficult to identify them after chatting a while. So having an open but alert mind in everyday situations is my suggestion for meeting new people.
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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.
Yes I would agree that YOUR encounters are normal, and would be acceptable in my eyes here in North America, not at all creepy.
What was creepy, was hearing my partner tell me how his friend did it and SUCCESSFULLY GOT A DATE. *shiver*
I said: That’s called stalking here.
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My husband and I met online using lavalife. That was a good website, it was free to smile at someone or send a quick note but for more interaction you had to pay. It was good for weeding out bots and people who were super creepy for the most part. My friend recently tried online dating and because they are either free (plenty of fish) or really expensive (match) she hasn’t had much luck. I would also suggest the website http://www.meetup.com you can find people that you have common interests with. Maybe you just make some friends instead of a love match but getting out and being social is just as important.