Ask Sherry: What Minimalist Maternity Wear means

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Can you talk about your approach to buying maternity clothes? As a minimalist and also a person who enjoys clothes and looking put together, I want to be balanced about buying maternity clothes since I’m now getting to the point in my pregnancy where my pants don’t want to button!

Congratulations! <3

If it is your first, you are in for a real experience. 😉 I can’t imagine my life without Baby Bun. He is constantly on my mind.

DO NOT BUY ANY MATERNITY-SPECIFIC CLOTHING.

You will never wear it again, even if you say you will. If you buy maternity-specific wear, make sure it is before you realized it was for maternity wear and found it cute.

What got me through the pregnancy, even through winter, were stretchy midi dresses.

Lots of stretchy dresses, or flowy maxi ones like this one that could billow out and accommodate the extra bump that would pull up the hem of the dress in front (this is why knee-length dresses won’t work, you need midi or maxi when you have a bump):

Similar dresses here, here and here.

I even, after having Baby Bun, managed to score maternity-style maxi dresses that I wear TODAY as regular dresses such as this one:

If dresses aren’t your thing, then I must say, DO NOT BUY PANTS, they will cut into your belly and be super uncomfortable, even if they are under the bump, then they fall down all the time as they then become super low rise (even if the back is high, this doesn’t work), and will slip and slide off your body.

Dresses are really, REALLY the best thing especially now in summer to make it through your pregnancy.

You don’t need that many, maybe 3 at best, and just alternate / wash them as needed.

I tried buying expensive maternity pants, and honestly, it was a waste of money.

If you truly must get a pair of pants and cannot abhor the idea of wearing a stretchy midi / maxi skirt or a midi / maxi dress that will expand with your bump, I would suggest looking at thrift stores or secondhand places for maternity-wear.

Finally, ask around your friends / family / colleagues actually, and put the word out that you are looking for maternity clothing suggestions, you may have people (like me) who had some maternity stuff we’d be more than happy to pass on.

If you truly need newer clothes, I would suggest buying bigger, baggier t-shirts and shift dresses, or things that you would wear that are oversized, even after you go back to your size (….or not. I am clearly not the same size I was before I had Baby Bun and my shoulders along with my torso have expanded, along with some ever so slightly extra bum & thigh poundage).

I hope that helps. Dresses, are what I recommend to every pregnant mother, and are what other pregnant moms have also said got them through the pregnancy. It is just going to get worse as the bump grows bigger, and stretchy, flowy, oversized stuff works the best.

What are some of the things your partner cooks one his cooking days?

He does a lot of easy foods these days, unlike days of yore because we have a small child who doesn’t sleep properly through the night consistently, and we both work full-time right now, so it is a lot of stress to try and do it all.

• French-style mac & cheese (cheese melted over pasta with bacon and green onions)
• Quick salads like tomatoes and basil with balsamic vinegar – I add the basil, he avoids it
• A lot of vegan soups — mostly pureed vegetables with caramelized onions for a sweetness
• Hardboiled eggs on baguettes with salads on the side
• Whole wheat pastas with lots of tomato sauce and vegetables (eggplants, carrots, onions)
• Smoked salmon on baguettes
• Chicken wings cooked in butter on baguettes
• Duck confit on bread with vegetables

Other times he makes a more complicated meal as part of a treat for all of us such as pizza from scratch, but that takes preparation and time.

What do you think about the families with several children who make it sound (on the internet) like it’s easy raising them? One person said she or he had “five and counting”. The “and counting” part sounded puzzling to me; I now have 1 and it’s not easy. How can it be easy?

The internet is all rainbows and sunshine

Ever get envious of Instagrammers? Or maybe you think everyone else is dealing with it so much easier than you are?

LIES.

ALL LIES.

I am trying my best to portray what my life really is like in my Week of Money posts raising a toddler (full-time, NO BREAK, no clocking out), being a partner (part-time?), working full-time, and then blogging full-time.

But even in those posts? I am glossing over all the actual, hard hours where I debate whether I should shower and feel like a clean human being, or just brush some dry shampoo through my hair and suck it up.

THAT IS HOW TIRED I GET.

It doesn’t always come across, but I am exhausted most days, my brain is foggy and I am just trying to keep it together by the skin of my teeth.

Maybe, it helps that I am efficient, I like to organize and so on, but even with all of that, there are just not enough hours in the day. #Truth …

So perfect lives online, in comments? I’ll bet you it is a parent who is not 100% full-time with the kids writing that, but their *cough* partner… *cough* namely the man… *cough* *COUGH*

After Child #2, it’s easier

From what I hear, once you have Child #3, it is all gravy from then on.

It’s just incremental work and they’ve beaten down your spirit so far that anything goes at this point, even eating off the floor like a dog, as one parent told me ruefully.

It is only Child #1 that is the hardest, then #2, as you have to now juggle an older child with the needs of a newborn (and jealousy sometimes ensues).. but once #3 comes along, #1 is old enough to help take care of them, and/or #2 is old enough to understand what the deal is, and they all get along.

THAT IS WHAT I HEAR.

Am I going to put it in practice or try?

HELL NO.

They make it sound easy because (I suspect) of a few things:

1. They may have someone stay at home full-time to watch all of them to take the pressure off the one who is working
2. They have outside help
3. They have family help
4. They have friends who have similarly aged children and they all hang out together for group help

It is MUCH easier if you have other adults who are not you or your partner to hang around and help be a third, objective view on how to deal with your kid.

Kids respond and listen to anyone but their mothers. This is a proven FACT.

FACT.

I see it time and time again when I tell other kids to behave and they do, but when mine is a monster he only behaves if someone other than Mommy tells him to behave.

It’s frustrating but true.

Still have a burning question?

You can ask any question using the form here and all of my previous Ask Sherry posts are here.