Ask Sherry: Little Bun, Maturity and Eyesight

You asked, and I am answering every Friday once I have enough questions!

Do you think that your son is some ways is extremely mature (reads a lot / thoughtful / advanced learner / good manners etc) and in some ways is young for his age (still naps / you are nervous to leave him in the living room – even though his whole life is basically in your 2 bedroom apartment )?

100% but it is also me.

I think it is more on me, than it is on him. He can stay by himself very well in rooms, quietly playing and not causing trouble or harm to himself, for long periods of time. It is more the way that I like being awake when he is also awake so that we have this quiet Mommy + Baby time together in the morning, and he tells me stuff he dreamed about, what he wants to do today, and he is far more talkative and revealing. Plus I get snuggles (though he indulges me every time I ask for a snuggle).

In the early morning, he and I just sit beside each other companionably, I get my stuff done, he does his own thing, and then he bursts out into streams of thoughts, or says things I never would get to hear otherwise because it’s so quiet, and he’s thinking about things.

How much of the maturity or immaturity do you think is because of Covid and being isolated?

I have been seeing a lot more kids as things open up and so many have matured in some ways and regressed in others. But it’s hard to compare when kids aren’t hanging out with other kids – like mine only went back to school this year after remote learning for a year. They seem fine emotionally but they regressed a little in learning bc they go to French school and we don’t speak French at home.

I can’t say. It’s just something I cannot really assess because I’d need to see him in an opposite environment. I asked him if he wanted to go to school (which is kind of like daycare), and he told me he liked being at home. At home, he gets to do what he wants, when he wants (for the most part), and we are both at home, which is a major bonus for him.

At daycare, he was always the kid playing by himself in the corner doing puzzles or something else, while the other kids were all gathered around a big computer screen playing video games. I would come and pick him up and he would be off by himself playing with blocks. It doesn’t seem to bother him that he doesn’t have a whole bunch of kids playing with him, and I did ask him once if he wanted to play more with other kids. He seems to enjoy it, but then when they (sometimes) get too aggressive, he backs off because it isn’t his vibe.

He likes playing with stuffies and creating jewellery… I mean, it’s my interest (creating jewellery), but he also enjoys coming up with ideas and being creative.

I guess I’d classify him as one of the quiet scholarly types, who is probably more introverted than extroverted. I also know he is shy around strangers which is normal, but as of late, he waves to everyone and smiles under his mask. He is pretty friendly, open to talking and hanging out, but he keeps to himself and is fine with it.

Thinking back to my own childhood, I could be projecting, but I was the same. I grew up in a neighbourhood of senior folks, and had no friends my age. I did not go over to friends’ houses often, so I was always by myself at home for long stretches of time. Sure, I saw friends at school but they were in another class for a majority of my years, so our recess and lunch times did not match up. I just sat by myself and read books, and did not feel terribly sad about it.

I guess what I am saying is I am not worrying about him or how he is progressing. Sure, I am super sad he isn’t in school, with other kids and learning that not all children are like him, etc…. but he seems to be growing up just fine because he has us to lean on and to teach/play with him to teach him how to be a fair loser in games (omg Monopoly was rough) and to take other people into consideration, which is the whole point of socialization.

Hi Sherry, I also very have eczema. Any products you have used that have helped other than prescription based stuff?

The only product I have used that has helped and has been super moisturizing was this – GlaxalBase.

I do not need it any more so I don’t own a tub, but if my skin ever got that bad again, I just use cortisone cream, and then slather on this stuff. I also find winter is very hard on my skin, so I have to remember to really lather up on moisturizers.

I am trying my best to avoid plastic, so I am using up all the moisturizers I have, and then switching over to concentrate moisturizers, which are also very good as they are mostly shea and coconut / cocoa butters.

Hi, Sherry! Do you have an issue with your eyesight? I’ve read in an older post of yours that you are wearing contact lenses and glasses, so I have several questions about this.

I myself don’t have eyesight issues, but I found out that my child does and I’m trying to find out more about this topic.
-Do you have myopia or something else? At what age did it start and with how many diopters?

I can’t even recall this far back but I remember having eyesight issues at age 6. I remember being in school and squinting to see the board. My teacher finally begged my parents to get prescription lenses for me, but my father, being both cheap and ill-educated, thought I could “strengthen my eyes” by forcing me to squint the rest of the school year, to “make the eye muscles stronger so the problem goes away”. Finally my mother forced him to pay for glasses even though they were expensive. I think my eyesight got worse during that period because it wasn’t corrected soon enough.

-How did your condition progress (like yearly) since you were diagnosed? Did it increase constantly? How many diopters do you have now?

I don’t give personal medical information like that out. I will say that it was pretty bad, and it has now stabilized, but it is in the range of me being seriously in the market to get laser eye surgery because I cannot see much when I have my glasses off. Everything is a blur.

-Has your condition become stable or does it still progress?

Stable when I hit my 30s. I only get worse a little bit at a time, if at all. It’s negligible.

-Does your child inherit your eyesight issues?

This is genetic. You cannot control how big your eyeballs grow, and in what direction / shape in relation to your eye socket, which is what causes this. If I gently pushed in my eyeballs back into my eye socket, I’d see everything 20/20. I hope he won’t get it but who knows. We will have to see as he gets older. So far, his eyesight is perfect.

I wouldn’t want this condition to be a handicap and reason of anxiety in my child’s life or to limit his learning potential (reading, working on the computer). Basically, what the medical field recommends for myopic people is to spend a lot of time outside, limit close work, limit working on the computer and reading. This sounds like eliminating a lot of potential professions… It sounds limiting, scary and depressing.

Doesn’t seem to be something to worry about to be honest. People just take more breaks…

-Has your condition ever caused you anxiety and stopped you from reading a lot or using screens? Do you have a protective routine, like taking breaks every 20 minutes?

No. I don’t do any of this, and have never done so. I read like crazy especially as a child, and I am on screens all day.

-Do you think that myopia is genetic or due to environmental factors (low light, doing close work, using screens, etc.)

Genetic. Then age. As you get older, your eyes get worse, starting around age 50 from anecdotal evidence. Then people wear reading glasses, etc.

-Lastly, do you have any idea about what would be the best treatment for this (atropine eye drops, orthokeratology, bifocal or multifocal soft contact lenses, bifocal or multifocal glasses)?
Thank you very much.

No. It depends on what the child can wear. Glasses are inconvenient in winter time as they fog up when you go from cold to hot, so people switch to contacts as they get older, but some people can’t wear them. I know many who tried contacts but cannot stand them, so they wear glasses or get eye surgery like Lasik, which I am considering and was going to do before this pandemic hit.

I will say I cannot switch to wearing glasses full-time if I do contacts full-time. I wear glasses at night after I take out my contacts but I cannot do it for long periods of time or else I get sick. It is as though my eyes adjusted to contacts and when I switch to glasses which is just a glass in front of my eye, I get dizzy if I wear them for more than 45 minutes or an hour.

You can ask any question using the form here and all of my previous Ask Sherry posts are here.

You can ask any question using the form here.

Still have a burning question?