You can ask any question using the form here.
How do you go about finding a partner? What did you learn from your past relationships?
At work. I started dating very late in life, around 19 or so? I found my partner when I was 23, so 4 years of “singledom” wasn’t really a long time to try out all the different types of guys.
When I met my partner, he was 15 years older than me but didn’t look it, and we clicked. I knew. My past relationships were always a bit off.
It sounds so politically incorrect to say so, but I will say it anyway because I am Anonymous — a lot of my ex boyfriends didn’t match me in social status or ambition.
I am not saying I was a snob about it, I dated them, and it was fine, but I could tell it was bothering them that I had smarts, ambition, and some of them never even went to high school, let alone college or university. It bothered them, and their friends/family felt awkward around me because I wasn’t from their culture or circle, if you get what I mean.
They felt like I was being condescending and high class by using “big words”…. but I just read a lot, and I use the words of my peers/colleagues and from books. I cannot help who I am, and if they felt bad, that was a reflection on them and their shortcomings, not mine.
But I absorbed all that. I absorbed it, felt like an a$$hole and tried very hard to not be a snob or “high class” anything. But in the end, it was too exhausting. I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t, pretending I wasn’t interested in topics like politics, society, discussions on consumerism, or how the markets were faring.
I wasn’t being who I was.
As for what I learned, one particularly bad experience was when I was a Money Idiot.
I absolutely will not accept anything less than equal 50/50. It causes resentment, stress and seeing as money is the #1 reason couples break up, I am avoiding all of that because I am wholly equal in my relationship money-wise. I am not dependent on him for anything, we are INTER-dependent and want to be with each other because WE CHOOSE to be with each other.
So… in short:
- Don’t change who you are. You are too loud for them, they want you to change your hair, body, they want you to talk about different topics you have zero interest in — don’t fake it. You can’t sustain that kind of nonsense for a lifetime.
- Don’t settle. I settled for a lot of losers because I had such low self-esteem I was grateful for anyone to like me, that I had zero standards.
- Be financially independent – Rely on YOURSELF. No one else. Only YOU will care about YOU and YOUR money at the end of the day, and if you can’t take care of your money and yourself, how can you survive on your own if need be?
I have a question about what electronics you are using now:
Your vacuum cleaner
We have the Dyson Animal V6 Cordless Stick vacuum. Once I went cordless, I never went back. It lasts about 20 minutes – 30 minutes, and I can do the entire apartment in 1 – 2 goes, depending on how slow I vacuum, how careful I am with corners, etc.
Computers and monitors
We have a Dell for the PC aspect (sometimes you just need WINDOWS to do things like your taxes), and we have a ton of Apple computers. We have the 17″ Macbooks all the way down to the 11″ Macbook Airs.
We have about 10 Apple laptops between us. We are crazy. We have them for every type of thing you can possibly think of. I have one for my business, one for traveling, one for daily working, and Little Bun has commandeered my old 17″ Macbook Pro to watch videos.
We also have iPads of all sizes, about 6 of them, etc.
People think we are insane, too rich for our own good, and idiots, but *shrug* we do use all of them believe it or not.
Quite often, for all their different purposes.
Little Bun will also get these items as he gets older, and he won’t be getting anything new if he asks for it — he can have my OLD electronics. I don’t plan on buying any more laptops, etc unless these ones dies.
We also have BenQ LED monitors, the kind that are NOT shiny, and no-glare. They are smaller than the big sexy ones, but 27″ is enough, and I love working on mine. We also use it as our “TV”.
We don’t actually have cable TV, we have Apple TV, and we watch FREE channels from France. 😛
I also use my monitor to watch videos while I do dishes, etc.
Headphones/earphones. Do you also have an in-ear pair(s)?
I have and love my Bose QuietComfort 35 Noise-Cancelling Phones (click for my review). I LOVE THEM. I use them for travel, I use them in general when I want peace and quiet.
I also have 2 sets of Apple Airpods (of course I do), because I am on calls SO OFTEN I do not have enough battery power to last me through 8 hours of calls. I know the trick of one airpod in one ear, the other charging, and switch it out when the one earbud dies, but I am not dealing with that crap.
I want full audio in both ears, therefore I bought TWO pairs.
Again, am I an idiot? Maybe. But it is convenient for me, and I don’t give AF.
We bought Maytags, as simple as they could come. No fancy crap, no massive washing drum that could break – it is open, and will spin and be fine.
Same with the dryer. Simple.
I don’t remember the model number, I think it was the oldest model we could find, it isn’t fancy at all. Also, in white because I don’t care about the laundry room and white looks fine to me versus sexy brushed steel or colours.
You can see our laundry room here.
What stroller(s) did you use for transporting Little Bun?
We used and only bought ONE because we did our research and decided for 3 years or less of toting a child around, spending $1000+ on a stroller seemed insane. We are saving that money for his clothes or whatever, instead of a stroller for only 3 years.
We bought the MacLaren Triumph for about $100 and it was perfect. PERFECT for traveling (super light), I could lift it in one hand as a weak-armed woman, and it was easy to close/open.
We also didn’t bother with a stroller for a newborn / baby to older.. because you know what? NO ONE is going to tote a massive stroller attachment with a baby in the bassinet. It LOOKS like a good idea, it is dumb AF because it is HEAVY with a tiny, fragile newborn inside. NO.
Sure, it wasn’t sexy, it wasn’t a brand name, it wasn’t made out of expensive lambskin leather with rosewood accents, but it did the job, and we were super happy.
I know mothers who bought 3 strollers — one for running, one for daily, and one for travel, but they all ended up buying MY stroller in the end – simple, easy, lightweight and cheap.
Once Little Bun could walk comfortably, around 3.5 years old, we retired the stroller and he never asked about it again.
We just make him walk, and take breaks if we have to. We don’t coddle him and tote him around until the age of 5 or whatever that I see some parents do for their children so that he learns to be independent earlier, and to not complain because he’s used to being carried / pushed around.
We also got a Chimparoo (with my review here) and I carried him around in that until he was about a year old, and it was perfect.
He was so tiny, portable, I carried him up and down stairs, got a good workout from it and lost baby weight, and he loved being snuggled against my chest.
I did it even during winter, and my coat would curl around him, and keep him SO warm and snuggled against my chest. He napped in there, ate in there… it was a little finicky to learn how to use a Chimparoo at first, but it was one of the best purchases I ever made.
Kids are also cranky, and they don’t want to be in the stroller all the time. THEY LIKE BEING CARRIED, these little animals…. so to save my arms, I just Chimparoo’ed him, and didn’t use a stroller.
Plus, it was cotton, so I didn’t sweat like with those other baby carriers that look sexier and more “manly”.. and I could adjust him easily, and carry him all over the place.