In Discussions, Discussions, Life, Money

Are single women too successful and intelligent to find love?

I’ve always been curious about why there are so many great, single women out there looking for love, but not being able to find it (or only finding duds!)

When I mention this, people tell me that it’s because they’re high-maintenance or too choosy, which is the reason why they basically choose to be single.

Others, cite that it’s because the women are too successful (career-wise and financially), too intelligent and therefore too intimidating to men in general.

What does high maintenance mean?

People to me, who are high maintenance, are some or all of the following:

  • always thinking of themselves (selfish)
  • always assuming they will get their way 100% of the time
  • not financially independent & secure to pay their way
  • expecting others to do everything for them & pay for everything to boot
  • always taking, never giving
  • spending money they don’t have or haven’t earned themselves
  • spending far, FAR beyond their or other people’s means

You will notice that I haven’t written: likes to shop and wear nice clothes.

If that were the case, I’m high maintenance!

Not all women who like to shop and wear nice things, are necessarily high maintenance.

If they have maxed out their retirement funds, saved a substantial amount of money, and continue to reach goals like saving a good portion of their income, then they should be able to reasonably enjoy their success, even if it seems frivolous to others.

These women have priorities, and they make choices about how they spend their cash.


What do men want?

Meg of World of Wealth had written a post entitled: I’m single, but I’m not picky or high maintenance.

…nearly half of all working wives bring home more bacon than their husbands, and that single women under 33 are out-earning their male counterparts.

These factors and others are affecting the courtship and marriage dance in complicated ways. The end result though is that more women are staying single and those who do marry are doing it later and later.

With both sexes earning plenty of money and remaining unattached – while crafting their own fun instant gratification lifestyles – well into their 20s and 30s, there is less pressure to wed all around.

I was struck by these two responses (presumably from men), which basically says that women do not receive a bonus or a premium on the dating market for being intelligent and successful.

They receive bonuses if they are young, fertile, beautiful and feminine:

Are women too intelligent and successful for men?

There is a grain of truth in what those guys are saying above: a smart, successful, attractive man is a great catch for a woman, but the reverse is not necessarily true if the woman outpaces the man in terms of earning power.

Men who are successful also want women who are successful because they don’t want to be worried about their wives not being able to hold their own in their social and professional circles.

Just because SOME men focus on ‘paying for youth and attractiveness’, it doesn’t mean that other men don’t value personality, intelligence and success.

One such couple, is the guy who’s a doctor and the girl who’s a dentist. In the past 5 years, she’s pulled in more money than he has, by a milestone (he’s still in residency).

Another couple, is a trader who married a woman who analyzes statistics. She makes more money than he does, and is in far more demand career-wise.

Besides, beauty fades, but personality and brains last forever.

I can’t imagine settling down for the rest of my life with someone who I liked to stare at and ogle, but was unable to hold a decent conversation with.

Why are women still single then?

Honestly, because some of them choose to be.

It may really be that those guys up there are making valid points for SOME women, but not for all.

If smart girls have dated guys and still haven’t really clicked or found anyone, then they’re choosing to stay single rather than be with someone they’re not 100% happy with, especially once you start working.

The pool definitely gets a lot smaller after college, and that is no joke.

https://www.thecut.com/article/closet-organization-ideas.html


Everyone has already been paired off like animals on Noah’s Ark by the time the last year rolls around, and within the next 5 years you hear a flurry of engagements, weddings, and even babies popping out in record time.

People you meet at work, are not necessarily people you can or would want to date. I was very lucky, but generally speaking, the prospects are not that hot.

I wouldn’t stop looking if I was single, and if it takes me until the age of 45 to find someone I could really share my life with, I’d rather wait until then and NOT settle.

What do you think?


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Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

I got out of $60,000 of debt in 18 months using TheBudgetingTool.com. Since then, I have worked 50% of my career (taking 1-2 year breaks), and quadrupled my income within 2 years of graduating, going from $65K to $260K (savings rate = 85%). I could retire today if I wanted, but love my work-life balance as a freelancing consultant in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). I also post daily on Instagram @saverspender.

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65 Comments

  1. Paul

    Most women are definitely the major cause of most divorces unfortunately. And the biggest of all cheaters as well.

    Reply
    1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

      That would be inaccurate, I’m afraid. Men are equally as likely to cheat and yet their wives stay by their side, and women are not ‘the major cause of most divorces’. Money, and incompatibility are.

      Reply
      1. Marko

        Most women with their careers really think they really are God’s gift to men with the attitude problem that many of them really do have these days unfortunately since they really are very selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, and lets not forget very money hungry that most of these women really are today as well. Enough said. And this is the very reason why so many of us men are still single today because of this.

        Reply
        1. Sherry of Save. Spend. Splurge.

          Disagree.

          Being picky is not a bad thing. If I were single, I’d rather stay single than be with someone who treats me like a slave/his mother/a child.

          I think both sexes are to blame in certain ways. If you go out looking at women with that rather hateful bias, you will never find anyone.

          You can’t blame your single situation on women. You have to shoulder half that blame – what are you bringing to the table? No one is obligated to be with anyone, thankfully.

          Reply
  2. Ben

    Give me a real good old fashioned woman anytime over these high maintenance ones today.

    Reply
    1. save. spend. splurge.

      What does “old fashioned woman” mean then? They stay at home barefoot and pregnant their whole lives, waiting on hand and foot for their husband and children, dying at the age of 40 as an old grandmother?

      Reply
      1. Ben

        Women have certainly Changed since the real Good old days which really had much better women at that time since many of them really made a much Better wife than the ones that are out there today. And Both men and women in those days made their marriage last a very long time which many of our family members are still together now as i speak which it is very amazing when you think about it. When i was married at one time which i was a very Good husband that was very Committed and Loved her very much at that time before she turned out to be a Cheater which destroyed our marriage. I never would’ve thought that this was going to happen to me since i was very faithful man that was very happy at one time which she really turned out to be the Low Life Loser that i never knew which really hurt me very badly. Lucky that i didn’t have children with that Loser which i really thought that she was a very Good wife at that time when i really wanted children too. And with so many women now that have their Careers which i have mentioned already since many women over the years have become so very high maintenance which really makes it very difficult for many other men like me that are having the same problem finding a Good woman again since i know other friends of mine that just went through this too which makes it very sad for us. Good old fashioned women years ago were the Best at one time compared to the women of today that are Not so nice at all which many of them carry their Greed and Selfishness with them wherever they go which is the real reason why many of us Good men can never win with women since many of us are still single because of the women that are really to Blame.

        Reply
        1. sherry@savespendsplurge.com

          Ben, I’m sorry she hurt you, however men are also cheaters.

          There are plenty of terrible men out there. There are men who cheat, do drugs, are alcoholics, beat their wives and children because they think it is their right as a man and think they deserve to be able to do what they want in their house just because of some genitalia.

          All I am saying is that you (unfortunately) ended up with someone who was not your equal, but that doesn’t mean all women are terrible or we should go back to being old fashioned.

          In the 50s, housewives took drugs and drank to make it through the day. Women still make $0.70 to a man’s $1.00. Is that what you want? Is that fair for you?

          Equality on both sides means good and bad things. The good being that if you ended up with someone great, she would have been your equal, provided equally to the household and been a great wife to you, and the bad is that you are going to find women who will take advantage of you.

          Women don’t have it easier on their side either. Consider that most women who are left by their cheating husbands end up as full-time single mothers and have to raise children on their own while trying to put food on the table. Men for some reason, have a free pass to not bother with child-rearing and I can tell you that in many cases what they pay (if anything at all) in child support is not enough for them to live on.

          I’m sorry you’re hurt but please don’t think all women are like this.

          Reply
          1. Ben

            To Sherry, well the Good old fashioned women of years ago made such a big difference since both men and women in those days really worked real hard together. Today many men like us Don’t make the kind of money that many of the Career women today are making since they really want Nothing at all to do with us since Most of those women now want the Best and really will Not settle for Less which really makes it very hard for us Not to be Accepted by them which is a very Excellent Reason why many of us Good men are still Single because of this since many of us really wanted to be married with a family. And i never expected this to happen to me since i really will admit that i really Hate being single and Alone now when i definitely Should’ve been all Settled down by now which really sucks for us men. That statement that you made that women had to drink and take Drugs to get by which Most of them didn’t do that at all i would say, maybe some of them did. I am very surprised that you really haven’t Noticed how women have really Changed over these years when years ago it was certainly much Easier for the men in those days finding Love compared to today which is definitely a real Challenge for us now.

          2. sherry@savespendsplurge.com

            Men have changed too, that is more my point.

            Men have also been part of that change, and I am seeing it more as the fact that women are starting to assert themselves as FIRST class citizens, not slaves or second class, non-voting pieces of property, the way they used to be treated in the past (and even today).

            If you would be so kind as to read up on how women are treated in China, India, the continent of Africa, you will start to see that this shift may not be for the worst.

            A good, easy, photographic read on this as an introduction is:

            It will break your heart to read how little girls see themselves, and how women are treated.

            It is from this, that I don’t see ‘modern women’ as a problem. Men have gone through the same changes, men have done the same things (perhaps worse), and somehow it is OK for a man but not a woman? That is the crux of my uncertainty that ‘modern women’ are for the worse.

            What is wrong with a woman earning more than a man?

          3. Ben

            Well the real problem is that many of these women that do earn more money very much think that they’re God’s gift to men that are beneath them which is real sad compared to the women of years ago that were Not like that at all since many of the women of today really do Brag about how much money they make which i could really care Less since i would be very happy just to meet a Good woman that Can just Accept me for who i really am since i will very much admit that i Don’t make a lot of money at all. And i do make enough to get by which is Good Enough for me. I will admit that many of us men Unfortunately were just born at a very bad time which it was just too bad that we weren’t born many years Earlier to Avoid this mess today which even many of us by now could have been settled down. Peace.

  3. Paul

    Just too many women nowadays that are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, and very money hungry, which is the real problem for many of us Good Single Men looking for Love since so many women these days will Never Ever go with a man that makes much Less Money than they do since their Careers are much more important than us. And God forbid if they ever went with a man that makes less money, Heaven forbid. Now in the old days i would say Most women were Never like that at all since Both men and women in those day really had to Struggle to make ends meat and Accepted one another for who they were. Many of us men were just born at a very bad time today which had we been born at a much Earlier time since we would’ve been all settled down by now with our Good wife and family today instead of still being Single And Alone now which many of us are certainly Not Single by choice.

    Reply
  4. Absolutely

    Well the ones that are very selfish and spoiled will have trouble, especially the ones that are very money hungry.

    Reply
    1. save. spend. splurge.

      But what constitutes “money hungry”? Wanting to have a decent life and not one of poverty?

      Reply
      1. Luke

        And the company you work for can fold under and you will be out of a job. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a loving, caring partner there to catch you while you’re falling with the rest of the herd?? I mean, the fact that women today prioritize their careers over their men and children is the biggest betrayal of family… other than a man walking out on his family to start another family. These are STRANGERS you’re working for or serving. Your husband and children should ALWAYS come first. That’s what the working man in the 50s knew. They knew working a 9 to 5 job was a responsibility. NOT a privilege. The privilege was knowing that you can keep your family happy and healthy, and that includes your spouse. That’s what real love looks like. Or should I say, that’s what love for someone who isn’t you looks like. That kind of love takes work and this generation of women can only handle so much work.

        Reply
        1. sherry@savespendsplurge.com

          It is the same thing for the guy! A guy’s career can ALSO fold under and be out of a job, and what would happen then?

          He’d have to rely on ME to help him pay his bills, right?

          SAME THING.

          YOU are also working for strangers, and SERVING strangers. Your WIFE and your kids should always come first, so why don’t YOU stay at home and she goes to work?

          LOL .. “This generation of women” …. you are really out of touch. I think I have never read such incoherent, illogical arguments from a guy before, You certainly take the cake.

          You’re telling me that a woman should sacrifice her life, her well-being and her sanity for the sake of her husband and kids and self-sacrifice so that they’re happy?

          What about her?

          When does SHE get to be happy? OH WAIT. With your twisted logic she is supposed to be fulfilled and happy being a SLAVE, SERVING HER FAMILY?

          Right. That sounds fair. *heavy sarcasm*

          I’d rather be single and alone than be with someone who thinks like that.

          Reply
  5. Chelsea

    I’m young (23) but have already experienced a great deal of success, make good money for my age, and have an independent and full life. I’m attractive but not drop dead gorgeous or stick thin, but hey I have a waist, boobs and a butt and look great in a dress! I find that Men only want to sleep with me when I do go on dates. Sometimes, realizing this is the only thing they want, I’ll cut it short or go for it, depending on how long it has been. I thought that by now I would have experienced love, but the only thing I have ever felt after a period of time pursuing or dating a man is used. I’m probably choosing the wrong men, need to alter my appearance or act in a manner that is more demure but I still wonder is love just not for women like me? Are we to smart and realistic to fall for the fairytale? Does women’s equality really mean forced independence from mutually dependant relationships? In looking for an equal have I missed the loving supporter to my career, dreams and goals which include LOVE. I’m afraid I will never know what it feels like to be truly valued, desired and cared for.

    Reply
    1. save. spend. splurge.

      How are you finding them? In clubs? I know it’s hard, but joining classes (cooking class? or other mutually fun hobbies? yoga??) or communities where you are less likely to meet guys who are only out for sex, is your best bet.

      There’s nothing wrong with you at all. You are just fishing in the wrong ponds, girl.

      Reply
      1. Luke

        Of course not. You just want men to change what we want or how we want it. You want men to give up our careers and aspirations. You want to condemn a man for wanting that white picket fence fantasy from the 50s. When you approach a relationship and you’re already making it clear that you don’t really give a damn about a man’s happiness, you really can’t figure out why these men don’t want to get serious with you?? Do you like men who don’t care to show you any love, understanding or consideration?? It works both ways.

        Reply
        1. sherry@savespendsplurge.com

          *LAUGH* You are so out of touch it isn’t funny. I hope whoever you are with (if you are even with someone), realizes how misogynist you are.

          “I don’t give a damn about a man’s happiness”

          Right. Way to generate stereotypes about women.

          You have no idea what my current relationship is like, but I am in a 50/50, perfectly equal relationship.

          I pay my half, he pays his half (no matter what), and we both contribute equally to the home. He cooks, I clean, etc.

          Reply
  6. Trish

    I have luckily found an amazing guy who knows how to treat a woman (most of the time), but he still says ignorant stupid sexist shit like you see all over the Internet (especially around other men). The rating of human beings on scales of 1-10 by a man who gives himself high marks, as if any woman peering into that brain would see anything more than a 1… and talking about us as if we’re just a walking pair of tits… It gets old. When you say things like ‘oh the women of 50 years ago are so much better’, the way I see it boys, is that you are small and insecure and insignificant, therefore you need to feel like the superior person in your romantic relationship, quite pathetic in itself. You can’t feel superior to a woman who is somewhat on the same level as you, you wish you could go back to a better time, when wives were slaves and you wouldn’t make it past the age of 30 so you’d have a chance to feel superior. Your problem guys, is when you think things like this about women, to us, that makes you a two at best, and you are not willing to date and marry the ugly beached whales which are the only women you are ‘entitled’ to.

    Reply
    1. save. spend. splurge.

      Good points but just want to point out that even those “ugly and beached whales” are still women deserving of respect. 🙂

      Reply
  7. Steve

    The good old fashioned women of years ago were certainly the best of all compared to today, that is for sure.

    Reply
    1. save. spend. splurge.

      I can’t agree with that entirely because women were second class citizens with no rights other than the ones set out by men. So to say they were the best begs the question as to in what way, because they were essentially caged slaves, bound by what men dictated. Now if you’re talking about loyalty to a partner, dedication to family and so on, we could argue that for both genders, men have been more unfaithful than women colloquially speaking but it is more accepted to be a deadbeat or a philanderer as a man than a woman.

      Reply
  8. Tania

    Holy crap, that first anonymous letter sounds like a complete douche. I don’t know if he intended it to sound that way but women don’t present themselves as intelligent career women because they think men will like it. We don’t decide to be ditzes or intelligent based on what we think men will like. We don’t pursue careers because we are trying to catch a man. We don’t structure our lives around what will catch a man.

    That said, a man needs to feel like a capable man. Having a good career and being smart doesn’t preclude a woman from making her man feel like the man in a relationship. It’s not just about money, it’s also about letting him shine in the areas he kicks butt, man style.

    We are trying to meet a man that is a good fit for us, period. Fullstop.

    I know many intelligent career women who have great hubbys and happy marriages.

    Reply
    1. save. spend. splurge.

      I’d agree with that. Everyone wants to feel useful and great as a partner.

      Reply
  9. Savvy Buck

    This is just a matter of statistics. Let’s assume men and women make the same amount for argument’s sake.

    LEt’s say there are 6 guys and 6 women in the world.

    1 of the guys/gals make over $100K

    4 of the guys/gals make $40-80K.

    1 of the guys/gals make over $30K

    The guy making $100K has no problem dating the gal making middle income or even under $30K as long as she is decent looking and decent personality. So he pairs up with her.
    The 4 guys making middle income have no problem dating the middle income gals either. What happens to single gal making over $100K?

    Well she refuses to dating guys below her. The only single guys in our example is the guy making under $30K a year. Thus, she has trouble finding guys.

    Expectations – Reality

    Reply
    1. The Real Answer

      That is why most women are very stupid today. The women years ago were certainly a lot better than the ones that are out there today.

      Reply
      1. save. spend. splurge.

        I approved your reply because I don’t censor opinions but this is a rude reply and certainly not true.

        “Women years ago were better”? Just because they were kept suppressed? Didn’t have opinions? Were only there to serve their family?

        Don’t make judgements if you aren’t able to back them up. Don’t forget that you have a mother and your future children (if you have any) will have mothers, and you can’t make such broad, disparaging remarks about women today being “very stupid”.

        Reply
        1. Luke

          It’s actually very accurate. Men are less likely to throw out their wives for being “deadbeats” than women. How is that fair??

          Reply
          1. sherry@savespendsplurge.com

            Men are? I am not so sure about it.

            Men are more likely to throw out their wives for a newer younger model, or without considering loyalty and keeping their love and devotion. I have known at least 3 separate cases of guys who say they have “upgraded”.

            How is THAT fair?

            Women who stay at home are also not deadbeats, define “deadbeat”, because there are plenty of useless husbands out there who go to work then come home and sit around doing jack squat while their wife has to do everything else.. and sometimes, work on top of all of that!

  10. Telling The Truth

    Well there are many of us good men that are hoping to meet a good woman to have a relationship with, and with so many women today that are looking for a Rich Man which makes them so very sad and pathetic since they just can’t accept us men for who we really are. It is bad enough that many women today are the Real Cause why the Divorce Rate is so very high nowadays since many of them do certainly Cheat much more than men do. So meeting a Real Decent Woman is very hard now for us men since many women really want to live the Rich Life Nowadays Anyway. I wish that we had a Real Time Machine to send these type of women back in time to see what it was really like when many men and women had to struggle to survive.

    Reply
    1. save. spend. splurge.

      But to play devil’s advocate, if a woman who is making a good income of $60K – $100K a year wants a man who makes the same amount of money, is that a problem?

      Reply
      1. Telling The Truth

        Yes it is certainly a problem, that is why it is very hard for many of us men looking for a good woman to meet to settle down with. Are you a High Maintenance Woman?, and are you looking for a Rich Man? This is what i am exactly talking about, and many of us men just want to meet a good woman to Accept us for just who we are. High Maintenance Women are just looking to be spoiled which many of them just want a man to spend money on them all the time. And would you be able to Accept a man for who he really is instead? I am not here to argue back and fourth on this subject, and this is the real reason why us good men can’t meet a good woman anymore nowadays which this has a lot to do with it. Now just to make a point here, if you had been born many years ago you would had no other choice but to be raised the same way like the other women that had to Really Struggle to make ends meet. Especially that many women back then never knew the Meaning of what A High Maintenance Woman Was.

        Reply
  11. Absolutely

    there are just too many women nowadays that think that they are all that, especially the ones with the high paying jobs. and today most of them want a man with a very large bank account, very sad.

    Reply
    1. saverspender @ save. spend. splurge.

      @Absolutely: I think if you have a lot of rules and restrictions on finding love, it will be harder as you age.

      Reply
      1. Seriously

        @saverspender @ save. spend. splurge.: just too many very high maintenance women out there these days.

        Reply
  12. Heather Buen

    I found you from Single Mom, Rich Mom and I have to say that my experience on dating many of the losers you talked about in your post, along with a failed marriage; I’m just jaded by it all. Rather than waiting for a man to come around, I went and had children after my daughter on my own. This definitely limits my dating pool but I don’t care – the relationship I have with my kids, my frienships, my family and business partners have sustained me emotionally and I’m so much more secure in myself. If a man does come around then good for him, but I dont’ consider a marriage partner ideally fits my situation as it is. My earning power and the ability to make my own financial decisions has greatly increased my wealth and income. When I was partnered up, that typically declined.

    Reply
    1. Mochi & Macarons

      Oh that’s a good point. Actually, it’s an interesting point that you made/kept MORE money than if you had a partner. I hear a lot of guys say or worry about the opposite — as in their partner having to be reined in for spending.

      Reply
  13. Mochi & Macarons

    Hmm.. I think that would turn anyone off 😉

    Reply
  14. Mack

    I agree with this. Women think by getting these super high careers, being so successful and then dating, that’s a big turnoff to men. I think what turns men off is that women’s competitiveness. Women’s competitiveness to men is like nails scratching down the chalkboard. Women being so successful totally hurts their chances in the dating world even with the super tall men so many women drool over. Just the other day I saw and overheard this lady talking to this super tall guy about what she does for a living as a doctor. Once she said she was a doctor the guy totally shut down and before you knew it she was shut down by him.

    Another thing I think single women these days need to pay particular attention to is the announcing that she can take care of herself (another big turnoff) for men. That (I can take care of myself) from women translates to men that she want’s to be a “man”. When men hear that it pretty much kills your chances and men are like.

    Comment from Bridget: ”
    I don’t feel the pressure to “find someone” — by 45 or any age.” Well you better feel some pressure cause as much as women these days want to be these bachelorettes and think it’s “cool” to stay single until like 45 is another turnoff for men. It’s just is what is is… Fact is fact Men can be bachelors a lot longer, most men get more attractive as they get older and the opposite for ladies. Men generally don’t want older women unless the guy is dead set on not wanting kids, other then that men will always marry younger, especially women that are younger than 35 so men can have TIME dating her, not hear that biological clock ticking and then when men marry ladies younger than 35 we have OPTIONS. If your a 45 year old lady you have no options for kids. For ladies at 45 your done, can’t obviously have kids, and your men selection is very very limited at that age!! Even if you did adopt kids at 45, you would be basically 63 by the time he or she just graduates high school, then another 4 to 6 years for college so that’s putting you at 67 or 68, then wait for him or her to get married and have grandchildren, you may be pushing 75 if you live that long lol!!              

    Reply
    1. Mochi & Macarons

      All valid points — does that mean that women should then NOT become doctors and avoid success just to get a man?
      I wouldn’t agree with that.

      Reply
      1. Mack

        No not necessarly, I think being successful and intelligent is sexy in women but I think more than anything what rubs men the wrong way and is a BIG TURNOFF for men with too intelligent women is their attitude. A lot of the too successful and intelligent women carry and have this I’m better than anyone else, the nose stuck up in the air, the I always got A’s in high school and still has that high school I’m “Ms. Perfect”. The nose stuck up 
        in the air, the I always got A’s in high school and still has that high school I’m “Ms. Perfect” attitude is an instant turnoff, instant deal breaker for men and a total killer for women’s chances with men.   

        But what is totally sexy for men is women with successful and intelligent careers and women are like egh I have this career but they aren’t all stuck up about their careers, they are more laid back about their jobs, like yeah I have this job, they are like whatever, like the job is obviously cool but they don’t make any big deal about their job and don’t shove it in men’s faces.     
         
         

        Reply
        1. Mochi & Macarons

          I see. So the doctor was acting superior which turned him off?

          Reply
          1. ptcyankee

            @Mochi & Macarons:
            I think the problem is that a lot of men are insecure and easily intimidated by successful women. Is she supposed to act like it’s no big deal and play down her career because of his insecurities? You don’t hear guys playing down their successes. There’s always been a double-standard and times have changed. I”ve found that men younger than myself are more accepting and less old-fashioned.

          2. Luke

            Ok. So, you’re not insecure about putting your family first? You actually want to prioritize your career, where you’re serving a bunch of strangers to a man you’re supposed to be more intimate with than anyone?? You don’t want to EARN his love and devotion? That’s another great, wonderful message to bring to a relationship. He doesn’t deserve to be a priority, because he’s… a man?? There’s nothing sexist about that mentality. LMFAO

        2. Antoinette Hughes

          No, it’s because men have high egos and are jealous. SHUT UP!W omen wouldn’t have to work if men would just marry us. So men have only themselves to blame for women taking over their jobs. 😛

          Reply
          1. saverspender @ save. spend. splurge.

            Did you just say that women don’t have to work if men marry them??

            For me that’s an antiquated view, seeing as even if I did get married, I’d still want to work, not be kept in a house by a man.

  15. Mochi & Macarons

    No one wants to be used for their money, no matter how much they have of it. That was crass of her!!!

    Reply
  16. Ted

    Divorced
    at 45 and I will NEVER do the marriage thing again.  It took me a couple of
    years to become OK with living alone, but now I wouldn’t trade my freedom for
    anyone.  Dating means that you have to deal with the baggage of others and, on that score, I’ve become intolerant.  I’m a healthy, well educated, 47 year old, single
    male with a 200K yearly salary, my own home, lots of assets and I plan to stay
    single for life.

    When you’re completely independent, outside
    of work, you can do what you want, when you want, and no one has any say in the
    matter.  It’s complete freedom.  It’s like being twelve again, only with a lot of money.

    Reply
    1. Mochi & Macarons

      Those are good points. For me, I think I’d like to have a partner to go through life with 🙂
      I can see your perspective for sure. I definitely envy that some days.

      Reply
  17. Mochi & Macarons

    Unfortunately this is the SAME refrain I hear from my awesome single girlfriends.
    We have concluded that the pool gets smaller before, during and after college. People get with their sweethearts, marry, start careers and are off the market.
    That said, there are departments RIFE with single guys. You just need to find them at your company or your friends’ companies….
    Thanks for coming from Uproar!!!

    Reply
  18. Mochi & Macarons

    I am posting less and being low key :p

    Or at least trying to. 6X a week was too much.

    I am also trying to just do twice a month as a maximum and take back my life.
    The other blogs were taking up a LOT of time and was at the point that they needed to be managed full time but it was never meant to be a career, just a hobby. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Leigh

      Posting less? You have posted quite a bit lately 😉

      That’s why I’m sticking with wordpress and a not so interesting name so that it really does stay just a hobby.

      Reply
      1. Mochi & Macarons

        Well I’ve been on a roll. You can take blogs away from a girl but not the girl from the blogging world :p
        I just want the option I not be pressured to post so often, that’s all. I felt really under the gun at the other two sites.
        It was all mental, I’m sure.

        Reply
    2. Anonymous

      @Mochi & Macarons: It is always wonderful to share a life with the person that you would be very compatible with, and being alone all the time and having no one can be very depressing. the great majority of us good men that are looking for a good woman, would seriously want that i am sure.

      Reply
      1. save. spend. splurge.

        Hey I don’t argue with that. Being alone is very depressing. The problem is where do you great men meet up with great women?

        Reply
        1. Anonymous

          @save. spend. splurge.: well that is certainly a very good question. i wish that i had an answer for that one.

          Reply
  19. guest

    My bf hates stupid women and he works in IT. He makes great money and saves most of it, I’m getting my degree right now but I plan on earning a high income too. IMO you need someone who is on your level. I can’t stand stupid guys either. 

    Reply
    1. Mochi & Macarons

      You need to be able to talk to them too, not just stare at them 🙂 beauty fades!!!

      Reply
  20. Leigh

    I love being single and I have a feeling I will spend a good portion of my 20s single since I didn’t meet someone I wanted to marry in college. Guys…mature at a different rate and I’m finding that if I want to date someone seriously, I really need to look for guys who are a lot older. But, like Bridget, I’m patient. I can support myself quite nicely and I’m happy by myself. I have a great social life. I really don’t need a man around, though sometimes I wish there was someone to wake up next to 🙂

    Reply
    1. Mochi & Macarons

      I am EXACTLY the same way. I’ve never liked guys my age just because I don’t really connect with them unless they’re about 5-8 years older.

      Reply
  21. Bridget

    I don’t feel the pressure to “find someone” — by 45 or any age. I like being single, and frankly, I’m cool if my whole life is like this. I like being in a relationship, but I like being alone equally well. People need to get over their obsession with relationships. Most relationships don’t end in marriage, and even  then most marriages end in divorce, so you just end up single anyway! I know when someone’s in love they think they’re the exception to the rule, but realistically that relationship is probably going to end (and there’s nothing wrong with that). 

    Reply
    1. Mochi & Macarons

      They say the rate is now 50% for divorces with money troubles being the #1 reason.
      Being single is liberating for sure!!

      Reply

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