??:?? —Baby Bun wakes me up with a soft “Mommy, pee”.. and we go. *sigh*
6:10 a.m. — I wake up groggy and super tired the next morning having slept late after having had to do all the dishes from a whole day of cooking in one shot as well as entertaining Baby Bun the entire day (read: bus) so my partner could paint the apartment then having to shower and put fresh sheets on the bed at night. It took me at least 3 hours to get all of that done. I AM TIRED.
6:49 a.m. — I struggle to get Baby Bun out of the house so we can get to school and work. He is fighting me tooth and nail today. I have to threaten to not take him on the metro if he doesn’t behave. He comes willingly.
7:29 a.m. — On the way there I spy a woman with long nails. They give me the creeps. Varnished or not, I seem to have a preference for short nails…
7:38 a.m. — I get to the preschool and Baby Bun has to be peeled off my leg, crying and screaming bloody murder.
8:00 a.m. — On the dot.
8:01 a.m. — WORK WORK WORK. There’s a huge Inbox full of messages from everyone wanting information.
12:06 p.m. — I go upstairs to eat my lunch. I’m starving.
12:12 p.m. — As I’m eating, I LOL This review on Amazon for this army knife is hilarious.
12:32 p.m. — Back to my desk.
1:44 p.m. — WORK WORK WORK.
5:25 p.m. — I get ready to leave, because things are getting crazy work and I can’t leave any earlier.
5:45 p.m. — Baby Bun’s tearful face looks up at me. I feel TERRIBLE. Such a bad mother. I feel such a pang in my heart.
6:27 p.m. — We get home, and I ask my partner to please get him undressed, etc. I am too tired. I shove a few pistachios into my mouth. I’m not even hungry.
6:32 p.m. — OK I lied. I start boiling some eggs and eat a few of them with a pinch of salt and pepper.
6:41 p.m. — I want to read my book. I sort of do this in between shared reading with Baby Bun of HIS books.
7:37 p.m. — I close my eyes for just a second and before I know it, it’s bedtime for everyone.
??:?? — Baby Bun’s fingernail scratches under my eye. OW.
??:?? — I shove his little night-underwear (read: diapered) bum off my face…
6:37 a.m. — I wake up and peer into the mirror, seeing a slight scratch underneath my eye. I didn’t dream it. He really did maim me! At least he “slept in”…
6:41 a.m. — I consider wearing a very bright item to work and decide against it… I am trying to stay within the office dress code (unspoken rules) but it is so hard when the palette is black, brown, grey and blue. Ugh. MEN. I don’t want to stand out too much…
8:08 a.m. — I’m in the office after a rushed dropoff of Baby Bun (yes, he sobbed like his heart was breaking).
12:28 p.m. — Lunch. I take it back to my desk to work. It’s salmon today with polenta and tomatoes.
12:38 p.m. — I scarf it down and I get back early to try and see if I can leave “on time” today, rather than late due to everything that has to get done.
4:05 p.m. — I am itching to leave early. I keep checking the clock.
4:45 p.m. — I clock out early (figuratively speaking) feeling quite pleased that my project went live in the nick of time. We met our deadlines, having worked like a dog to make it. I’m taking it easy this week. I’ve been doing a lot of overtime and not charging for it to hit my deadlines.
5:55 p.m. — Baby Bun had two major accidents today, is out of pants, and his shoes are soaked with pee. *sigh* I make a note to myself to bring more, and some underwear. I think he is stress-peeing and regressing in his potty training. This is not helping at home either. I am trying not to get upset because Baby Bun has started saying: No Mommy upset? No Daddy upset? Poor baby. It is hard to stay calm as a parent. You read all of these books about being a calm, loving parent, and it all goes to hell when you’re stressed, fatigued, and sleep-deprived. TRUST ME ON THIS.
6:07 p.m. — I get in the door and find it empty. My partner is out bicycling, so I have Baby Bun all to myself. I wonder if I should make dinner or if he’ll bring something back.
6:57 p.m. — Nope. No dinner. He’s home and there’s no baguette. I peevishly tell him I was expecting a dinner (we have a schedule he usually follows), and I scrounge up a simple soba noodles, eggs with basil for Baby Bun and I.
7:27 p.m. —I like it so much I plan on it for lunch tomorrow.
8:37 p.m. — Bedtime. Screw the dishes.
??:?? — Baby Bun keeps shifting around and refusing to sleep in one spot. We have a wiggler.
??:?? — The neighbours have such a terrible row, I call the cops on them. The cops come to the door. My partner and I are glued to the peephole of course.
??:?? — They refuse to open it and pretend to be quiet or not at home.
??:?? — The cops leave. The fighting starts back up again with screaming and banging. I call the cops back again.
??:?? — The cops come back up.
??:?? — They finally tell them they’re entering if they are not answering and they open the door.
??:?? — They get in there.
??:?? — They leave with NO ONE in handcuffs. We’re both disappointed at the outcome.
??:?? — I can’t even fall back asleep, I am too wound up right now.
6:01 a.m. — UGH. I AM SO TIRED. Last night’s drama is terrible. They’re renters and we’re all owners, and I hope they DO NOT renew their lease. These people are ridiculous and I may have to contract a lawyer to start court proceedings against my neighbour who is renting to them.
6:03 a.m. — I sleepily try to get through the day. I make two cups of tea. I need it.
6:51 a.m. — Baby Bun squeals and wants to stay at home. I am too tired to argue, I just drag him out of the door screaming and crying all the way down to the car and strap in my sobbing child.
7:31 a.m. — He sobs all the way there, screaming.
7:39 a.m. — I park the car and realize it is on the wrong side of the street. Luckily I checked, I don’t want to get a $60 ticket. I move it over.
8:18 a.m. — I get into the office late.
10:18 a.m. — …. I look down and at least something is going right today. I admire my new Olivia Burton bee watch. It’s amazing how pretty it is. I love the detail of the bee (my new favourite insect by the way as they are all at once hardworking, efficient, practical, indispensable to humankind, and have cute striped outfits to boot).
12:02 p.m. — I stop for lunch.
12:08 p.m. — During my lunch, I browse online to see what else I can buy on sale at an online store. Luckily everything is sold out of my size. Phew.
12:20 p.m. — Back at the desk.
1:44 p.m. — I eat my banana. I bring one daily and I think the potassium is helping, not to mention the fact that it keeps me fuller.
2:48 p.m. — As a short mental break, I very quickly Google what is around my workplace and discover a whole new neighbourhood I need to explore this summer. Woo hoo! I get back to work right away.
5:35 p.m. — I leave late. Again. I feel terrible. I AM A BAD MOTHER. Or just thinking about him too much?
5:55 p.m. — I power walk to a red-faced, sobbing Baby Bun. I can’t help it. I am so late. I am so late. And I need to stay, I have no choice. People email me up until 5:30 because we are trying to get stuff done ASAP and they all work until 6 p.m. I can’t be the only slacker holding everyone up.
6:00 p.m. — In the car, strapped in, I’m talking to him and soothing him.
6:20 p.m. — At least there’s very little traffic. I practically sped home.
6:33 p.m. — In the door, I quickly strip him down, we wash our hands thoroughly (to not bring in outside bacteria and stay healthy), and I shove a bottle of his beloved milk in his mouth.
6:37 p.m. — Back in the kitchen I groan at the stack of dishes generated in just TWO days, the sink is overflowing!!!! I spend the next hour doing it and rope Baby Bun (after he is done his milk of course) into helping me dry and put some of them away. “Helping” being a loose concept here, as it is mostly me doing it and him holding my hand. My partner putters around, putting MORE stuff on the walls that he’ll have to sand off later and create a fine dust with that I’ll have to clean up again. I hate construction.
7:48 p.m. — I’m done. I go lie down, my back is killing me. We read books together with shared reading (one sentence each). Here’s what it looks like now even with 25% of it dried and put away.
7:55 p.m. — I get up and go take a shower and bathe Baby Bun at the same time, I don’t like morning showers because everyone in the building takes them so I’ve switched to nighttime ones where there’s enough hot water to go around and it doesn’t go lukewarm.
8:28 p.m. — Baby Bun in his jammies, all clean and damp, and we’re snuggling in bed.
9:38 p.m. — Bedtime. PLEASE. I have been trying for the past HOUR to get him to sleep. Then my partner sleepily tells me: Oh he slept a lot today, I saw on the webcam.. at least 3 hours… .. WTF PRE-SCHOOL!?!?!?!?!!!!!!! I sigh.
??:?? — Yay… another potty run….
5:28 a.m. — And he’s awake early. Today will be a TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE day for everyone until he naps. I can predict it.
7:49 a.m. — Yep. He’s over my shoulder, sobbing as we go to the car, and he is protesting school, HARD. This seems to be our normal routine now.
8:28 a.m. — I get in work late, he was really clingy and kept running to the door until someone came to grab him away.
12:08 p.m. — I eat my lunch. It was good but I needed double. I eat my banana.
12:18 p.m. — I’m still hungry. I decide to go out and splurge on a second lunch of salmon linguini which I later regret because it was $11.99 plus tax but the flavour was lacking. I would have been better off buying something else or just starving and waiting for a vegan burger. The financier I took however, was really fresh and delicious and only $1.73. I make a note to buy more of these. $15.77
2:18 p.m. — I finally remember I have some Teapigs bags in my drawer (I keep forgetting they’re there!) and make a nice caffeine-free, sweet treat. I consider heading outside just for half an hour to breathe but remember I want to leave early today, so I stay put.
2:22 p.m. — I decide I’ll spend my Mommy time off working on the blog to get it prepped and self-sufficient for my upcoming vacation, and when I take Baby Bun on the trains as a treat on the weekend, I’ll return another purchase (a second Olivia Burton watch which I am now regretting).
2:48 p.m. — I realize I don’t really like wearing button-up shirts tucked in because they shift around and annoy me. What I need is a bodysuit that looks like a button-up. I vow to take a look online for some shirts like that. Otherwise, what I like is to wear button-ups casually with jeans, but untucked.
5:15 p.m. — Not AS late as before, but still not great. I run for the preschool.
5:35 p.m. — Baby Bun seems fine. He must have slept a lot.. he isn’t sobbing at least. I feel relieved.
5:55 p.m. — We stop at the park on the way home. Okay I’m being totally judge-y but a mother of 45 should not really be trying to wear ass-flaunting booty shorts like her 9-year old. A longer length is more flattering or something that leaves skin to the imagination can be a lot sexier than skin skin skin… Or maybe I’m just a prude. I’m too tired to be politically correct.
6:25 p.m. — I get him back into the home. I spy the neighbour who was making all that noise, leaving with a suitcase, and her boyfriend stays behind. Good riddance. She was a real hellcat, especially waking up people who are dying for sleep…
6:45 p.m. — I don’t even know what happens between now and bedtime. The same old stuff, shared reading, emergency laundry, puzzles and threatening to revoke train privileges for the weekend if he doesn’t sleep.
5:58 a.m. — My partner has a soft spot for our son (obviously), and he feels bad at forcing him to go to pre-school every day, so he stays at home a day or so a week and watches him instead. Whatever works for him. I’ve done my time, it’s time for him to take over!
6:08 a.m. — I decide to take my laptop to work today if Baby Bun is at home so I can drop by the library before I go home, that way I can log in and do some things for the blog that are too hard to do with a toddler bothering you. THANK GOODNESS.
6:28 a.m. — I decide to dress up.
6:38 a.m. — Baby Bun comes and pleads with his little Bambi eyes to NOT go to school. I tell him today is a VERY SPECIAL day and he’ll stay at home with Daddy. He’s all smiles now, jumping around saying: “Stay at home with Daddy??????!?!?!“
7:11 a.m. — I kiss Baby Bun good-bye and his lower lip quivers. “MOMMY? MOMMY? MOMMY STAY?” I tell him Mommy has to work which makes him say: “MOMMY NO WORK“… and then I tell him that either he stays at home with Daddy or comes to school while Mommy works. He chooses Daddy. I take the bus today instead of the car. $2.25
7:39 a.m. — I am in SUPER early. Nice. I can leave earlier then… or not. I may go out for my lunch break and let my brain relax.
8:08 a.m. — WORK WORK WORK.
11:02 a.m. — The one good benefit of Baby Bun staying at home with my partner is that his second language is finally improving and I am hearing mini short sentences and translations!! He’ll say it to my partner, then translate to me in English. It’s a marvel. I can’t wait for him to practice in Europe.
11:48 a.m. — I scarf down my lunch and check the time. I decide I have time and I head out quickly to the pharmacy and store.
11:52 a.m. — I run to the pharmacy and pick up scopolamine patches (they don’t knock me out like Gravol) for the trip. $17.36
12:08 p.m. — I can’t decide between a pink thermos or a blue or champagne one (more unisex). I really love the bright magenta shade and it makes me happy but it just seems so girly. Screw it, I say, and I pick the pink one. I have to use it, might as well make it a happy colour.
12:32 p.m. —The insulated lunch bag gets narrowed down to teal, blue or yellow. I decide on teal. Blue seems so boring these days and teal is a nice unisex-enough colour.
12:39 p.m. — I choose between two colours for the lunch bag, either black or “paper” and opt for the latter. I’m not a fan of black but it is also that if I am using it and putting it on the ground, black shows dirt stains more easily, whereas brown paper will be less obvious.
1:12 p.m. — Back in the office. Oops. Took a little too long. It’s no problem though because I’ve been working later the other days and not taking a lunch so I figure it all evens out.
2:44 p.m. — A co-worker comes by and scares the crap out of me. My cubicle mates offer to hold him down so we can teach him a lesson. I ponder it.
3:45 p.m. — In the bathroom, I make a note to buy waterproof mascara once my stash runs out, it keeps migrating down to the edges of my eyes which gives me a smudged raccoon look (sort of sexy) but it means I am constantly wiping my eyes, nervous that I have black smudges, and we all know that’s how we get sick, when we touch our eyes, nose and mouth.
4:15 p.m. — I decide to leave early today as Baby Bun is at home and I need some blogging time.
4:35 p.m. — I try and find a seat on the bus, but this person is taking up an two seats, and I am sorry to say, stinks of old sweat and unwashed hair. $2.25
4:37 p.m. — I SORELY regret my decision but am torn between wanting to get up and stand in some fresh air, or suck it up and be polite to stay where I am (and keep my seat). I opt for the latter. I escape a few stops later and take in deep breaths of air. It should be a crime to not shower before taking public transportation.
4:57 p.m. — I discreetly check out people’s outfits and make notes of what I’d like to wear. The basic uniform for guys is a blue button-up and dark pants, yawn.. And women are not that much more creative either with their dark clothing. I can’t wait for true summer to feel the sun and wear colourful items.
5:05 p.m. — I’m at the library and furiously tapping away at the keys.
5:11 p.m. — I know the blog is a side hobby that could potentially cover bills while I am in between contracts, but it is more that I am a Type A personality and want to be the best at everything (ugh… the pressure). As a result, I tend to concentrate on trying to organize at least one part of my life to get it under control so that I can move on to the next and get THAT organized.
5:15 p.m. — A guy sits down beside me amongst and entire library full of EMPTY TABLES. Why? WHY!? …
5:27 p.m. — Why does he keep looking over at me? I’m trying not to notice but it is distracting if he keeps looking up and I can see it out of the corner of my eyes. Do I know him? He should say something.
5:45 p.m. — He gets up to go, and lingers.. then leaves. I shrug. I need to leave in a 5 minutes too. At least I managed to schedule two full posts and have daily posts until end of July to give me some serious buffering time for when I am back from vacation. #FTW
5:55 p.m. — I walk home.
6:27 p.m. — My brain needs a break this week. I am exhausted from working so hard and all this unpaid overtime (I really want to stay at this client), but I also have to think about the blog which I now feel is in good shape.
7:37 p.m. — BEDTIME. FOR ME.
7:08 a.m. — Baby Bun REALLY slept in. I feel semi-refreshed.
7:59 a.m. — YAY! TODAY IS MOMMY ESCAPE DAY.
8:08 a.m. — We make tea and have bananas for breakfast.
10:02 a.m. — I log in and Skype with my mom.
12:08 p.m. — I feed Baby Bun while we Skype.
12:28 p.m. — I say good bye & he works on a puzzle quietly, fitting the pieces in backwards (instead of the image side, the blank side on the back), which amazes me. He’s completely engrossed in this task. I’m blogging while he does that.
1:21 p.m. — He finally goes down for his nap, having half finished the puzzle back.. which is still incredible to me.
12:56 p.m. — Bus is packed. I REALLY wish people with backpacks would be considerate and TAKE THEM OFF and set them on the ground or hold them in front of them, because they can’t feel the backpack pushing into the backs of others on the bus. $2.25
1:22 p.m. — I drop by the store and return the mug I bought because it is way cheaper online on Amazon, by at least $30. I upgraded to the 20oz version and even with shipping and import duties with a conversion of $1.30 for USD to CAD, it was still cheaper than the smaller version -$72.43
1:45 p.m. — A woman in line has her lips pursed because she has had so many surgeries that she can barely move her mouth. Frozen pursed duck face.
1:54 p.m. — I am next and I return that second (gorgeous) Olivia Burton watch. -$366.85
2:18 p.m. — I wander around Sephora, doing nothing.
3:45 p.m. — On the metro now. What would be nice is if people showered too, more often if they tend to sweat and have serious body odour. And wear deodorant. It should be a law if you take public transit. $2.25
4:25 p.m. — I get home and am EXCITED to see that my partner and Baby Bun went out to get food after his nap. I love having the apartment to myself, this is the ultimate gift, really. Silence and alone time at home.
5:15 p.m. — They saunter in and I try to hide and stay as quiet as possible. I hear Baby Bun jumping like a kangaroo.
5:17 p.m. — OMG IS THAT THE SOUND OF PEEING!?!? I sprint around the corner to see Baby Bun completely naked, peeing a fountain all over the floor. I clamp down on my emotions and try not to freak out, I stay calm repeating to him (and myself): “It’s okay.. It’s okayyyy… It’s okay, it’s not your fault.”
5:18p.m. — I immediately grab a towel, wipe him off quickly and sop up the pool of pee all over the floor. I feel like I am being punished for wanting some alone Mommy Time..
5:22p.m. — He’s all cleaned up but he still has a whiff of pee about him. I quickly hustle him into the bathtub, as he is protesting strongly the injustice of having to shower when it was NOT PLANNED.
5:23p.m. — I wave a little container at him which I let him use to scoop water in and out of the bathtub and gleefully splash around the contained shower stall. He lights up, drops his teddy bear and runs for the bathroom, stripping off his clothes.
5:32p.m. — I soap him up and try to get into every little possible crevice, emptying the tub twice.
5:47p.m. — Annnnnnd now he doesn’t want to get out of the bathtub.
5:52p.m. — NO REALLY. Bath time is OVER. I am HUNGRY. He gets out and I dry him off, while I slather on cream all over his skin.
5:57 p.m. — He kangaroo-hops to the kitchen to eat (while we’re BOTH saying in two different languages for him to stop jumping around).
6:27 p.m. — Dinner over.
7:37 p.m. — I finish the dishes and leave them to dry again. Bedtime.
8:08 a.m. — I take Baby Bun out for a short jaunt to pick up some metro tickets to get to the airport for my partner which ends up costing me $1 more by accident (their screens are very confusing). $15.25
8:38 a.m. — I also decide to pick up some yoghurt as a treat (strawberry and blueberry from La Ferme Vallée Verte). Baby Bun hassles me for milk, so I get some almond milk as well. $12.67
9:02 a.m. — I drop by the Museum boutique and ogle a gorgeous leather backpack ($281), their silk scarves ($75 a pop), and some jewellery by Harakiri and Anne-Marie Chagnon. I leave tempted but steel my resolve to not buy anything. I have my eye on a Smythe jacket, and M. M. Lafleur dresses.
10:08 p.m. — We finally leave to go home. $2.25
12:28 p.m. — Baby Bun is fed, and protesting his nap. I kiss him, leave the door slightly ajar and leave, amidst his protests. He doesn’t dare get up once he is down for his nap because he knows I’ll get upset.
12:31 p.m. — I start laundry and do 4 loads in a row, knocking them out as each one is finished. I left it until the end of the week because I figured if it was important (e.g. Need more Baby Bun pants), I would do laundry ad hoc, but if it was able to be left until the end of the week, I do it all on Saturday morning.
12:42 p.m. — As I am doing laundry, I am thinking is getting harder to schedule my whole life and organize it, from working full-time to trying to keep play dates going, to school, to making sure we are prepped… And he is only in pre-school!! I wonder how other families do it and still have PERSONAL alone time to themselves…. Let alone couple time.
1:44 p.m. — Baby Bun is awake. WHERE DID THE TIME GO!? I feel like he didn’t sleep a wink. *sigh*
1:54 p.m. — We play puzzles after he drinks his milk. He loves doing them and the 30-piece ones he can do on his own but any more and he needs help.
2:48 p.m. — My partner comes home. We chat, eat a little snack together, and I check the clock. My partner informs me that we need SPECIAL metro tickets for the airport which are $10 each, not the normal ones. GAH. I just bought them! Oh well.
3:05 p.m. — I quickly escape for precious Mommy Time on the bus while my partner stays in and works. $2.25
3:35 p.m. — I walk around, touch items in Sephora until I realize that I don’t actually want anything.
3:45 p.m. — I pick up Airport specific tickets that are $10 a pop. $40
4:15 p.m. — I stop by and ogle the leather raincoats (yes you read that right) at m0851 and wistfully put them back on the shelf. I absolutely cannot justify $1375 before 15% taxes on a RAINCOAT. I need to get extended to spend that kind of lettuce on a coat especially if it isn’t Burberry. :-/
4:25 p.m. — Time for the bus, after steeling my reserve NOT to go in for a cake or a treat. $2.25
5:01 p.m. — I come home to discover my partner has been waiting for 2 hours to get Baby Bun to clean up. He clearly has zero experience with toddlers because he thinks he says something and it gets done with these monsters. With kids, it has to be a game or an encouragement (constant), or you get down and do it with them for the first few pieces.
5:11 p.m. — My partner informs me that we need special tickets to get to the airport at $10 a pop. I sigh. I need to buy more now.
5:27 p.m. — I finally help Baby Bun clean it up, we go out to get food.
5:32 p.m. — After the first store, I regret my decision because he is just TERRIBLE. He is running around, jumping, wiggling, screaming, shouting, and just not behaving. I am at my wit’s end.
5:37 p.m. — He also keeps shoving his hand up my dress to hold my legs and it lifts up my clothing for everyone, so I asked him plenty of times to get his hands out of my dress, but he doesn’t listen and wants to lift my dress up.
5:57 p.m. — We get home and Baby Bun gets punished for his behaviour and for not wanting to wash his hands. He has to sit in a room by himself, crying, screaming and sobbing red-faced. He sits there repeatedly for various periods over the half hour until he finally calms down.
6:37 p.m. — Then for the rest of the night? MODEL CHILD. We eat nicely, he is quiet. I really hate disciplining him to the point where he is crying, red-faced and stressed but he needs a reminder once in a while apparently.
Saved: $1581.25 — That raincoat is remaining a dream.
Kids. Can’t get rid of them once you have them. Everyone, think twice before you procreate. That should be the sticker on every condom package.
All joking aside, it is very tiring to raise a toddler and work full-time and try to have a full-time life, not to mention a full-time blog… I have no idea how people do this.
I have read a lot less books this month but plan to make up for it on vacation… although if we are there, I will be 100% with Baby Bun and playing with him, so reading is out the window.