[Special Note: I skipped a Week of Money because I went to help my aunt in the U.S.; there was no time for that, and this one is the week after I came back. ]
??:?? — Baby Bun is HASSLING ME FOR MILK. WHY. GO BACK TO SLEEP, CHILD.
6:08 a.m. — TEA. I plan out my day as well, I have a ton of things to do, like return the pants I bought, etc.
7:59 a.m. — He clings to me like a koala bear. He is still kind of traumatized that I left him even though Daddy was great and he seemed fine at the daycare (aside from the sobbing and koala clinginess from his first week there).
8:08 a.m. — Poor child. I nuzzle and kiss him until he runs away, squealing “NO“!! But I know he loves it right now.
10:18 a.m. — As I am lying down and reading books with him, I wonder where I’m going to find 100% cotton socks for Baby Bun today. This is going to be so tough. I make a list of baby stores to hit but all I want to do is buy a huge pack of them for the rest of his life and be done with it. Why don’t they make expandable socks that grow as the kid grows? Ugh.
11:02 a.m. — We have a nice lunch and go back to playing for a bit. I get ready in the meantime. It takes me a while and I wonder if I should not go out today because my right knee is unable to bend and hurts like hell. I have to pop it by working it back and forth. This has been happening a lot more often, I wonder why.
11:22 a.m. — Baby Bun clings to me and hugs tight. He has been extra whiny all morning, and I know it is from my having left him for so long. I really need a break though.
12:08 a.m. — He goes down for a nap and I sneak out on the bus and try to massage my right knee in the meantime, it really hurts. $2.25
12:28 a.m. — This girl’s hair stinks below me on the bus, it is really disgusting… I can see the oil matted down and pulled back into a ponytail, and it just SMELLS.
12:31 a.m. — Oh. It’s a GUY. I’m breathing through my mouth because it is really rank. Why can’t people shower? It is BASIC HUMAN DECENCY to be CLEAN especially when taking public transportation. OMG. I need to switch seats, but nothing is open.
12:37 a.m. — I head over to the Gap after escaping from that foul stench on the bus and I buy a whole range of 100% cotton pants in all sizes and colours at The Gap and bring it home to my son to try on. I never know what works on him, and he is too uncooperative to do this in the store with me, so I just buy everything and try it on at home. $108.97
12:56 p.m. — I try on a few Olivia Burton watches and am enamoured. I sort of want one now but not at $300 a pop. Actually I also can’t even decide between the one with the raised bee (cute!) or the triple dial. It’s just so expensive and I don’t really need another watch. Maybe if I get to work for the rest of the year, I’ll put it on my list as a possible gift to myself, along with a Smythe jacket in navy blue. That’s on my list so far but I haven’t purchased anything.
1:12 p.m. — I head into Zara and beeline for the kids section; I need sweatpants for Baby Bun because he is going to daycare soon and I want to be prepared for peeing accidents. He also seems to have problems with seeing his knees (he hates shorts and squeals “No knees!!!” when I try to put him in shorts). WHY IS THIS LINE SO LONG. I pick up some toddler socks for Baby Bun as well. $59.56
1:44 p.m. — I pop by Tiger of Sweden and find a pair of black pants that might work for the office. They are pricey but they look good and are high-waisted. I don’t love the material though, but it’s that or the Acne Studio pair that might be coming in next week in a boutique in a smaller size, but it is at DOUBLE the price. Ugh. I will keep the tags and receipt on and return in 10 days if needed. $247.68
2:18 p.m. — I drop by Sephora, explain my skincare pains and pick up a mattifying primer by Becca recommended by this GORGEOUS black girl who has the most amazing hair and skin (I told her that too). I love the women here at the downtown location right by McGill, they are SO GOOD at their jobs and so sweet and helpful. My skin even after moisturizer and a translucent powder, looks like an oil slick by noon because of the SPF and the foundation, it is quite heavy for the skin. $50.59
2:22 p.m. — I stop by for a bowl of ramen pork bone soup. It isn’t as good as in Toronto but I’m really craving it. They tried to upsell me to the combo for $13.99 but for $2 more I get a salad, soup and dumplings I don’t want to eat (it’s just crap filler food), so it is $2 wasted even if it is a better deal.
2:48 p.m. — As I’m sitting to eat, the girls beside me ordered the wrong thing to eat and try to demand the kitchen take it back for free. The menu is in French and they ordered in French; how could they have screwed it up so badly?!?
2:51 p.m. — Man that soup is good, and too hot. My eyes water from a bite and I burn my tongue a little. I take a break to watch a video. I eat the entire thing and still think I miss the ramen in Toronto. *sigh* Oh well. $15.80
3:25 p.m. — I rush down into the metro to hit the Apple Store on the way home so I can buy 2 extra chargers to keep at the office and to carry with me. I have no idea where these freakin’ chargers went but I need them. $57.50
4:05 p.m. — I hop on the metro to head home. Dinner is usually at 5 p.m. on the weekends because Baby Bun hassles my partner for food so much that he has to give in or die from constant toddler nagging. $2.25
5.05 p.m. — JUST IN TIME to see the bread come out of the oven with toppings. Phew.
6:37 p.m. — As I do the dishes, I consider cooking the next day in the afternoon after my partner is done with his cooking because then I can just wash it all at once and save time…
8:37 p.m. — Bedtime. Baby Bun is sort of refusing to sleep and my partner says sheepishly that he slept almost 2 hours. OH. ONLY THAT HUH?… We wrangle him into bed even though he keeps squeaking for MORE milk to drink, saying “MIK? MIK? MIK”? It’s cute but also NOT CUTE.
Possible Return: $247.68
??:?? — Now he wants to pee. I’m so tired. At least he wakes up for it. I’m exhausted though. On the way back to the bed he squeals for milk. I don’t want to start this bad baby habit again so I tell him no. He gets water instead and sobs while drinking it.
5:31 a.m. — I already got up, got him his milk and tried to go back to sleep but his little boy snore in my ear was just not doing it for me. He fell right back asleep at least. I get up to do some emails and blog stuff.
5:37 a.m. — A plugin I used to use for my mobile theme which I loved, took my entire site hostage, because it USED to be free and now it’s not. They want $6 a month to continue. They didn’t even WARN US. It just stopped one day, 2 weeks or so ago. I have to find a new FREE mobile theme plugin.
6:08 a.m. — I find a new plugin and it’s ugly but acceptable. I ponder paying that $6/month fee, but can’t justify it right now. What I have noticed is that my stats have gone down by half because of this stupid theme switch that ruined things. I feel a headache coming on, and I don’t want to deal with this.
6:09 a.m. — I think Baby Bun is going through a growth spurt. He has been eating like a monster, everything in sight, and asking for our share. He is a seriously hungry caterpillar right now, on the Saturday page. I also checked his height against my body (yeah super scientific) and realized he shot up and inch and a half already. He is now above my hipbones.
6:19 a.m. — I start making a little day calendar for him to show him that Monday to Friday he goes to “school” (we no longer use the word daycare because he was traumatized apparently, when I left for the U.S. to help my aunt and my partner had to put him in “daycare”). It shows him that the weekends are free to be at home, but he gets to go to “school” on a bus (Daddy’s car) and have fun. This is what I am going to do once I go back to work at the end of May.
6:29 a.m. — My monster’s awake! We hug and cuddle. He is still super clingy and cries “Mommy” when he doesn’t see me at home, it sort of breaks my heart just how much he missed me. My partner has to cook today, so I plan on taking him out to Wal-Mart to pick up work things like a notebook, post-its, and the like.
7:01 p.m. — I get an email inviting me to a birthday party for one of his playgroup friends, I accept immediately. I miss everyone there and he’ll have fun.
9:19 a.m. — We get in the car and are on the way now. Nothing opens early here, 10 a.m. is the earliest.
11:02 a.m. — I go through my list and lug a bag of office stuff back to the car. $26.54
12:08 a.m. — LUNCH! Finally.
12:28 a.m. — I hustle Baby Bun down for a nap and start roasting my vegetables to supplement the food my partner cooked for the week. I like variety each week and he is less interested in that. I also make some chia seed puddings (a new thing) to see if they’re a good morning breakfast thing to eat along with a banana to keep me full.
1:52 p.m. — I head out after my partner comes back home, just in time, as I hear Baby Bun rustle around the bedroom and wake up. I don’t really want to leave him, but I have to get stuff done and it is easier without him. $2.25
2:12 p.m. — I return all the pants at The Gap I bought that didn’t fit or look good and keep two pairs. -$81.45
2:44 p.m. — I return the Zara pants that were a bit “trop stylé” for a toddler (read: too trendy), they were drop crotch and distressed but they were 100% cotton and looked comfortable although it would have been better for a diaper-clad baby with a huge puffy bum rather than a little boy who is now potty trained. -$59.56
3:18 p.m. — I make a quick note that I have to transfer some money from my investments. I spent so much this month and last month on my aunt that I used my cash reserves I had been saving for paying the fees next month, and the tax bill ($2300) that is due in 2 weeks. I need MORE CASH. I am not working yet, the income is coming, but cash flow is the killer here.
3:22 p.m. — I quickly rub some blister block on my heel to prevent chafing and blistering; this stuff is a godsend. If you catch the chafing beforehand and use this stuff, you will not get blisters — I have walked SO MUCH lately…
3:48 p.m. — I pick up some mailing boxes on the way home because I plan on mailing care packages of Canadian snacks that they all loved and asked for more and quickly run for the bus. $12.25
4:45 p.m. — HOME! Made it just in time from the bus for a nice big plate of melted cheese on pasta, a Sunday treat. $2.25
5:15 p.m. — Mmm.. I stuff myself and Baby Bun attacks it like there is no tomorrow. I fear for our food budget as he gets bigger… LOL
5:45 p.m. — Are all little boys so hungry!? I don’t remember this but I guess it must be true. My one nephew used to say he was hungry all the time and could scarf down huge meals in a blink of an eye. They grow like weeds.
6.35 p.m. — I do all the dishes and pack away the roasted vegetables (nothing fancy, carrots and broccoli)… and check on my chia seed pudding.
7:37 p.m. — I look around and start tidying the apartment. I don’t want to wake up to a mess. Baby Bun stops me and hassles me for a book, so we go and read together, he loves reading and I want to encourage him, but it is tiring as well. It is truly the longest, shortest time of our lives, having kids under the age of 5.
8:37 p.m. — Bedtime. I am rethinking those pants I bought. I’m sure they’ll go back next week, the material was a bit too stiff and not comfortable like the Theory pair I now love and live in. Even for $250, it is not worth it, I’d rather pay double and get something I want to wear and feel good in.
Net for the day: -$97.72
6:08 a.m. — TEA. I NEED SO MUCH TEA. I have to limit myself though, 2 cups is the max I should drink per day. I am not careful in pouring the hot water from the pot into the bowl to whisk up my matcha green tea, and it goes ALL OVER THE COUNTER. Wasted. *sigh* It is not my day. I clean it up and start all over again.
6:28 a.m. — Finally. Tea.
7:59 a.m. — I make a note to buy more tisanes that are caffeine-free for work so that I have something hot to drink that has barely any calories and no caffeine, and still has some flavour to it. My favourite are Tea Pigs teabags.
8:08 a.m. — I remove the widget showing me stats on my blog. I’m going back to work, I can stop stressing about money now, and anything I earn is a nice bonus. This stupid mobile theme thing has really ruined the visits to the blog and I’m depressed. All the work I have done for the past month, down the drain in 2 days.
10:18 a.m. — I log off, depressed from the drop, and just hang out with Baby Bun. We cuddle and read, and play silly train games.
11:02 a.m. — We both get fed.
12:08 a.m. — NAP! He goes down for a nap but not before trying to scam a bottle of milk out of me.
12:28 a.m. — I settle in to watch some old episodes of Elementary. Lucy Liu is really an interesting Watson.
12:56 p.m. — Baby Bun is up early, he slept fairly well the night before, all things considered.
1:12 p.m. — We start getting ready to walk out to the park. I tell him to tidy up before going.
1:44 p.m. — He finally gets his few toys put away (he gets distracted halfway through), and I put sunscreen on him (he hates this) and a hat, and we make sure we have everything turned off and clean before going.
2:18 p.m. — At the park, I lay down on a bench and watch Baby Bun play. I keep a very close eye on him at all times, basically one eye is typing out notes on my iPod Touch and the other is eying him. I never let him out of my sight, I have heard horror stories no matter how safe it seems. We’re pretty trustworthy here.
2:22 p.m. — I listen to podcasts and watch him gleefully slide down again and again.
2:48 p.m. — I warn him we’ll be leaving in half an hour because it’s about a 30-minute leisurely walk home with a little child. He nods and goes back for more sliding. I know it would take longer than 30 minutes for him to get mentally ready to leave, which is why I pre-warned him an hour in advance so there was a half hour slack time to go for ONE MORE SLIDE and to push ONE MORE swing, etc.
3:45 p.m. — We finally get out of the park and walk back home, hand-in-hand. I love this quiet little moment where he is looking at things, asking me questions.. mostly “EHH???” and pointing is his way of asking me something, and we get to spend time together. I always stop at least three times to bend down and kiss him to tell him I love him. He has started replying back: I love you too! Heart melt.
4:15 p.m. — We get home and get into house clothes to read and play.
5.35 p.m. — My partner comes in the door and Baby Bun runs around the apartment squealing: I LOVE YOU!!!!!! My partner looks at me and says: Is he after more food? Why does he love us so much?
6:37 p.m. — We eat dinner.
8:37 p.m. — Dishes are done, bedtime. I collapse exhausted into the bed.
6:08 a.m. — YAWN. Teatime.
7:59 a.m. — I log in to quickly check emails.
8:08 a.m. — Nothing important I can’t leave alone. I log off and go read and play with Baby Bun while cleaning up the apartment a little, tidying things here and there.
9:38 a.m. — I finish cleaning and organizing everything. I decide to start a load of laundry.
10:18 a.m. — I log in online at home and realize that David’s Tea is having a 40% off sale. I go to check my stock of tea and realize I am down to my last 3 bags and I am about to start work in a week. I have tried all the teas and now I only take ONE tea type and I don’t bother trying to experiment. Why screw with what works? If they ever bring back my beloved Brazillionaire, then we’ll talk.
10:28 a.m. —I hem and haw, over the options, and then decide to buy $100 worth so I can get a free 50g tea reward (which by the way, they changed and now the MAXIMUM amount is $19 to be redeemed for a 50g bag). It comes out to just a little over $100, I couldn’t get it dead on. $102.37
11:02 a.m. — The postman comes to the door, and I get a massive order from Old Navy I had ordered that were high-rise and trouser-like but they were just awkward all around. The butt, the hips.. it was baggy at the sides but I don’t have hips or a butt so it just has this weird pouch on the side like I have secret haunches of sandwiches hidden at the side.
12:08 a.m. — I pack everything up to return after trying it all on, and I will enlist my partner to help me drop off the package on his way to work tomorrow because they’re all going back. – $108.97
12:28 a.m. — Laundry goes into the dryer. Baby Bun goes down for his nap.
12:56 p.m. — I start trying to make a list of things I have to get done and decide between doing it all right now and getting the $$$$ part out of the way, or to leave it until later if it isn’t necessary.
1:12 p.m. — Baby Bun wakes up. He gets milk and I cuddle him while he drinks it.
1:44 p.m. — I decide to take him to the park. I tell him of our plans, and I start doing the dishes and cleaning up.
2:18 p.m. — Still waiting for him. He only has ONE task, and it’s to collect all the letters to put them into a box so that they aren’t all over the floor. *sigh*
2:22 p.m. — Waiiiitinggggg….
2:48 p.m. — FINALLY! DONE! Only took an hour. Before we leave, I grab his hat and jam it on his head, noting that it is now too tiny, and throw some laundry into the dryer. Oops. I always forget about this.
3:45 p.m. — Park play. He avoids the snails carefully on the sidewalk, pointing to their shell and saying: Shell! House. Snail. Snail house. I snap a few shots of the gorgeous trees in bloom.
4:15 p.m. — I push him on the swings and he loves it. I get a bit of a workout doing this, luckily I have major muscles from doing it.
4:45 p.m. — I give him a 10 minute warning and we start planning to walk the long way around back to the apartment. I lure him back with a promise of an avocado.
5.35 p.m. — I get in the door just as my partner gets in too, perfect timing. We remove his outside clothing, he washes his hands, and I wash mine too. We have a rule that every time we come in the house, we always disrobe and wash our hands to stay as bacteria-free as we can.
5:37 p.m. — I eye the baguette my partner has and silently cheer. I was so craving bread today.
6:07 p.m. — We finally settle into the chair to eat, and it is “pizza” which is really just bread covered with melted cheese, and tomatoes. DEEELISH.
6:09 p.m. — I throw on some freshly picked basil leaves. I have been trying to keep my basil plant alive by not stripping it completely of leaves and letting them grow back from the picked stumps. So far, so good. I’m starting to see some new leaves, and it is saving me $3 and some change in doing so. When I pick the basil leaves, Baby Bun swallows and points saying: BAAAY-SILL!!
6:07 p.m. — I remember that I should go down and check and mail, and decide to do it after dinner and dishes.
6:47 p.m. — I do all the dishes, quickly throw on some jeans and a shirt, and pop down to the mailroom. I clean out the mailbox, and realize there are coupons for a second bread for free, so I quickly sift through the recycling bin and pick up ALL the coupons that other people have thrown out. I am pleased to track down at least 10 of them, which will save us at least $3 each time. YAY!
7:01 p.m. — I flop down on the bed, and Baby Bun hassles me to read books, so we start reading.
7:37 p.m. — I foist him off on his father to play with numbers and do more flags on the iPad and I try to make it through my book. I won’t have as much time to read once I start working again.
8:37 p.m. — Bedtime. I can’t read another page. Baby Bun is getting whiny.
Spent: $102.37 – YAY TEA!
Net for the Day: -$6.60
??:?? — He keeps waking up and shoving himself into my back. ARG.
6:08 a.m. — I only have a few more years of this, I tell myself, as I sip my tea. It really doesn’t last long but man, it is tough when you’re in the trenches.
7:59 a.m. — I am tired. I want to just flop back down on the bed and sleep. I crawl back to try and do this but Baby Bun is NOT HAVING THIS. “MOMMY UP“, he shrieks. I tell him he is being too loud and he should read quietly to me instead. He nods and says: “Baby Bun read self.”
8:08 a.m. — He starts reading all of his favourites. I have to help him with the big words, but I find if I explain the word and its meaning to another word that he understands, then he remembers it better. For instance, for the word “commotion”, he says: “NOISE!” after he says “commotion”.
10:18 a.m. — I half dozed and half read with him until he got tired and started playing with the blankets on his own. I get up and try to make this a productive day. I start on the dishes, I get the lunches ready, and I vacuum the entire apartment.
11:02 a.m. — Done. I feel somewhat productive but I always feel like I could get WAY MORE DONE if I had energy and the will to do it. I just feel so tired. I’m drained. I need a break.
11:32 a.m. — I feed Baby Bun his lunch and eat mine at the same time. I cannot wait for the summer trip back to Europe. I feel like I need to not think about anything. I also can’t wait to start working so I can get my first paycheque in. ARG. It is always 2 months before I get paid from when I start working, and that is tough on cashflow especially with the way I’ve invested everything into the market and left nothing really, to cover expenses.
12:18 a.m. — Baby Bun is down for his nap. I tell him to nap and he goes with only a LITTLE protest. I tuck him in, kiss him and he looks up and asks hopefully if he could have his bum patted for his nap. I tell him “No”, and that he is big now, so he can sleep without it. He puts his head back down and closes his eyes.
12:28 a.m. — I log in and my WordPress is acting up. I can’t reply to comments, I can’t add tags, none of the buttons seem to work. It’s like this whole new install has screwed up everything completely. WTF. I feel drained again. I can’t deal with this. I feel like I want to burn it all down.
12:56 p.m. — I am now lying down, watching videos on my side. I just feel so… lethargic. I feel like there is a mountain of work and crap to get done and I have ZERO HANDLE ON IT even though I know that I do. I worry about every little stressful thing.
1:12 p.m. — Baby Bun throws the door open and thunders out like a baby hippo, asking for milk. I kiss him, snuggle his warm little neck and carry him back to bed while I go and get his bottle.
1:44 p.m. — He’s done his bottle and I wonder what I am going to do today. I wonder if I should take him on the bus. I decide we’ll do that as an activity and start getting ready by putting everything away.
2:18 p.m. — The store that brought in an pair of pants in a smaller size I was eying from Acne Studios sends me an email to let me know they’re in to come and try them on. What good timing! I suspect I am going to love them and it will be another $500 out of my pocket for high-rise, work-appropriate trouser pants. *sigh* I think this will be the last pair I can buy so I will now have 3 pairs of work appropriate high-rise trousers to rotate through.
2:22 p.m. — I decide to drop by the store today (to be productive) with Baby Bun and try on the pants quickly, it becomes a little activity for us by taking the bus to get there. $2.25
2:48 p.m. — We get to the store, I try on the pants and the waist is TIIIIGHT. Phew. I try on the pants another 2 sizes bigger and it is the right length, but way too big around the leg and thighs. I guess I saved myself $470 before taxes or $540.50 in total. I could always buy the bigger size and take in the waist, thighs and legs, but I am not paying over $500 to have something tailored. I’ll just wait for something else better to come along.
3:45 p.m. — I get Baby Bun back on the train after walking around and enjoying the day with him. I forget it is rush hour, and it is PACKED. Everyone leaves work at around 4 p.m. and now we are all squished in. Ugh.
4:15 p.m. — We get on the bus just in time for the transfer and wrangle a seat on the account of Baby Bun squealing: SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT!! .. and a kind soul gets up to stop the whining. I give him a grateful look, and then lecture Baby Bun on how sometimes we have to stand and we can’t sit because that is not how the bus works. We cannot ALWAYS GET A SEAT. He seems to get it, but not really. $0
4:35 p.m. — We’re in the park now. We’re hanging out, swinging, sliding. I’m in better spirits but I just need to feel like my life is in control. I am not in control. I need to make a list. I feel like my life, my work, my blog, my family, it’s all NOT UNDER CONTROL. Panic sets in.
4.55 p.m. — We get back into the apartment. I just lie down on the bed. I am both lethargic and too lazy. I should make a list. I should do it. My brain can’t do it. I just can’t seem to pull myself out of this funk. I feel completely brain drained.
5:12 p.m. — I wish my partner was home.
5:42 p.m. — He comes in the door. He was caught in traffic. All of Montreal is doing roadworks everywhere and all the bridges are jammed. I just can’t figure out why we can’t get it together in this city. Why is it always having to be fixed every 3 years? It’s INSANE.
6:32 p.m. — We’re eating dinner now and still ranting about the city. Ugh. Small problems but frustrating because it adds 45 minutes to commutes and increases stress for all of us. At least there is cheese bread.
6:37 p.m. — We finish dinner, and we are still chatting as I wash the dishes and dry them.
7:12 p.m. — I try to sneak in some reading time but Baby Bun keeps clinging to my side, hugging my arm and petting me.
8:37 p.m. — BEDTIME.
5:08 a.m. — WHY. I manage to get him back down with sleepy threats.
6:16 a.m. — I am tired.
7:09 a.m. — I make some tea finally, after coming out of a dazed stupor.
8:08 a.m. — I decide that taking Baby Bun to the train station again is the thing to do.
9:02 a.m. – We get ready, I pack some extra underwear and a change of pants, and we’re off. $2.25
9:18 a.m. — He has such a good time at the station watching the trains go by and waving at people. It’s quite adorable how much he loves trains and buses.
9:22 a.m. — I wonder if he is just learning this because I am thinking it is as a boy that he should love moving vehicles, and then I flash back to my playing with him at the park when I tell him to look at the beautiful flowers and never pick them because they have a right to live too. Plus, helping snails cross the road is always a good thing. Now when we go out to walk or to the park, he always says: “beautiful flowers!“, and “Help snail!! Shell snail home.” (the snail’s shell is its home so we have to take care of them). I figure I’m doing enough to be sensitive to not enforcing gender stereotypes. He is who he is. He even “cooks” for his “babies” (stuffed animals) and used to pretend to change their diapers with water and cloth, like the way I did to him.
10:02 a.m. —I want to come back on the same ticket to save money, so I rush Baby Bun onto the bus just in the nick of time. $0
10:32 a.m. — I wonder what goes through people’s minds to not give someone a seat on the bus. I am struggling with Baby Bun who is throwing a minor fit about having to stand (he isn’t use to the jolting), and I tell him to grip onto the bars. The young girl, ironically dressed in Lululemon yoga pants and workout gear in the PRIORITY seat on the bus for the elderly, the pregnant, and disabled, just looks up at me, and looks away, pretending she doesn’t even see me struggling with a toddler on a bus. No one says anything and I wonder if I should be passive-aggressive or just outright pick a fight, or do nothing at all.
10:35 a.m. – I choose the third option (read: the high road), but silently curse her, saying: “I hope if/when you have children, you never, EVER find a seat on the bus with them.” There. That ought to do it. Karma.
12:08 a.m. — After getting home, he gets food into him and he immediately goes down for his nap.
12:28 a.m. — I log in to try and figure out what is happening to my mobile theme. I give up and email the developers.
12:56 p.m. — I end up watching videos online and browsing the Vogue YouTube Channel watching nonsense like The Met Ball Experience. I liked Priya’s Met Ball 2017 trench coat dress the best but it looks a lot like the Rihanna Omelette dress from 2015, just in a trench coat style.
1:12 p.m. — I troll online while Baby Bun is napping and end up lusting and ogling after the Olivia Burton bee watch. I can’t stop thinking about it. I ogle it online, I go into stores and try it on. I feel like this passes the 10 minute test, even the 48 hour test to make sure I really want it. I decide I can’t justify the $300 price tag though, so I search online for it.
1:44 p.m. — FOUND IT! I found it. And in total it’s about $200 instead of $300 even with shipping. I hesitate, then click Buy it Now. $229.57
2:18 p.m. — I wonder if I should have bought that watch. I really like it but I feel like my stress shopping is starting to rear its ugly head again. I really liked it in this colour scheme of rose gold & grey too. Must keep myself in check. No more frivolous spending, even though I am delirious at having gotten some work (FINALLY).
2:22 p.m. — Baby Bun and I hang out. I remember the old laundry I had left in the dryer and we spend time putting it away together
2:48 p.m. — Baby Bun plays with his socks instead of putting it away. I have to try and gently coax him into doing it.
3:45 p.m. — We finally get the laundry put away. I want to go to the park, but I decide to not bother. I’m sort of tired, and I start scanning all my documents instead so that they are ready to shred afterwards.
4:15 p.m. — Baby Bun finally realizes what I am doing and jumps over and helps me feed the documents through the scanner.
4:45 p.m. — I finish scanning everything and put it all away in a box to shred later.
5.35 p.m. — DADDY! He is home early and I am thrilled. Baby Bun bounces over to him (he is into being a kangaroo these days) and starts hassling him for some bread (he has a baguette sticking out of a bag).
6:27 p.m. — We finish dinner and I get started on the dishes. I do not want to do them in the morning tomorrow.
7:37 p.m. — Bedtime. For me anyway, I’m lying down. We usually spend the time after doing dishes by hanging out in bed, chatting about our day and Baby Bun, while also entertaining Baby Bun the best we can. I love the end of the day when we chat and connect as a family.
6:08 a.m. — Out of a miracle my partner decides to stay at home. I foresee an added “Mommy Day Out” happening right now. I gleefully drink my tea and plan my escape.
7:59 a.m. — I spend the morning hanging out with Baby Bun, reading, playing, tickling. The whole morning goes by really slowly, but it’s just so repetitive at this point.
10:55 a.m. — Lunch. Baby Bun stuffs his face. I stuff mine. I am already gearing up to leave.
11:07 a.m. — I gather all my things together, and see if I need to get anything urgently done.
11:31 a.m. — I leave my son with my partner to get him down for his nap and decide to head downtown. $2.25
12:31 p.m. — I wander around Old Montreal at my old haunts and inevitably find a dress I love. UGH. I’m so stressed about all the money going out, that I end up caving and giving in. I’m already pushing $6000 out of my pocket this month with a tax bill I have to cover (around $2300), so I figure, what’s another $258? Illogical, irrational but it feels so good. I really like the dress with its adjustable straps and butcher-style apron look, very Laurence Basse of Project Runway. Crap. $258.75
1:12 p.m. —I wander into a fancy grocery/gourmet/food shop and wonder if I should get a meal too. I decide I have done enough damage and just eye the food at $12 a bowl. Dang. I decide I am not that hungry and I should save up my money for stuff I really crave like the vegan burgers at Copper Branch.
1:44 p.m. — I go and drop off my watch for repairing, the battery is dead. $15.82
2:18 p.m. — I end up at Aritzia idly browsing the items, but can’t really see anything I want.
2:22 p.m. — I go into Starbucks and mooch off the wifi. I check my emails, do a little social media and then decide to go to Holt Renfrew to see if they have any pants to buy.
2:48 p.m. — At Holt Renfrew, I go through every single rack, and try on a Burberry coat. The one I have is too small for my shoulders now, as a US 4, but I need a US 6 now. I wonder if I should sell my old US 4 coat and buy a larger size. I wish I wouldn’t have to sell it at all, but my shoulders expanded too far, so I need a larger size. I think I may wait on this.
3:45 p.m. — I start walking to get the bus back.
4:15 p.m. — I hit the bus right on time. $2.25
4:45 p.m. — Finally in the front door, Baby Bun runs into my arms and we hug and kiss silently. He grips on to me, and says: “Mommy left. Baby bun stay with Daddy.“… he is really feeling this clinginess right now. A wave of guilt washes over me. Maybe I shouldn’t have left. He’s clearly traumatized.
5.35 p.m. — Dinner. Baby Bun already started but my partner set aside some food for me so that I get some of the food before he eats all of it and leaves nothing for me.
7:07 p.m. — Dishes again.
8:01 p.m. — BEDTIME.
I am starting to spend again. This is not good. I need to rein it in. I’m cutting myself off from frivolous shopping no matter how stressed I am, I don’t want to get back to that spot.