Why do we torture ourselves by comparing our progress against others?
It’s mostly because we like to benchmark. I want to know (for bad or for worse), how I am faring against others in my age group for instance.
It lets me know where I stand, basically.
But then I read a quote in a random book yesterday that said:
You should stop comparing yourself to others.
Compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
It gave me pause for thought because I am always looking at others to know where I stand, but in truth, no one else can be the best benchmark for me except for myself.
No one else has had the exact same situation, experiences, and opportunities as I have.
It should really be how far I have personally come, and if I am truthfully happy with who I have become thus far.
No one else’s achievements or progress really matters.
With that in mind, I reviewed the major areas of my life, and they all come up green for me.
Sure, I have a few worries, like how I am going to deal with not being able to work for the rest of 2013, and how I will have to basically turn down working for the majority of 2014 because of the baby.. but I am not too concerned at this point.
I simply have to trust that things will work out.
I’m happy.
8 Comments
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save. spend. splurge.
That’s a good point but you’re learning from it rather than feeling bad about it.
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Leigh
Yup. Like the early retirement blogs where people live in areas with $100k or $200k houses. Their lifestyles just wouldn’t work in my area without a huge commute that I’m not willing to do.
I was a bit hard on myself this year because I didn’t meet some of my savings goals but in reality, I had set them at an unachievable level. Oops!
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Leigh
Haha yeah. When your savings goals add up to more than your gross income, you have a bit of a problem…
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Kim @ Needing the Dough
I have been working on this a lot! I have a tendency to (a) compare myself to other and (b) set completely unrealistic expectations for myself. I have been working to remind myself that not everyone is in the same situation and just because they reached a milestone I’m working towards at a crazy super fast pace doesn’t mean that my way is terrible or ineffective or “wrong”. And the bigger one I need to remember – just because I set high goals for myself doesn’t mean I have failed if I didn’t reach them. I need to follow and make sure I’m progressing in the right direction.
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Another reason to compare oneself to others: a way to know which path you are heading. Sometimes if you see someone make a mistake, you can learn the lessons and the consequences from that mistake and not make that mistake yourself.