I’ve always been curious about why there are so many great, single women out there looking for love, but not being able to find it (or only finding duds!)
When I mention this, people tell me that it’s because they’re high-maintenance or too choosy, which is the reason why they basically choose to be single.
Others, cite that it’s because the women are too successful (career-wise and financially), too intelligent and therefore too intimidating to men in general.
What does high maintenance mean?
People to me, who are high maintenance, are some or all of the following:
- always thinking of themselves (selfish)
- always assuming they will get their way 100% of the time
- not financially independent & secure to pay their way
- expecting others to do everything for them & pay for everything to boot
- always taking, never giving
- spending money they don’t have or haven’t earned themselves
- spending far, FAR beyond their or other people’s means
You will notice that I haven’t written: likes to shop and wear nice clothes.
If that were the case, I’m high maintenance!
Not all women who like to shop and wear nice things, are necessarily high maintenance.
If they have maxed out their retirement funds, saved a substantial amount of money, and continue to reach goals like saving a good portion of their income, then they should be able to reasonably enjoy their success, even if it seems frivolous to others.
These women have priorities, and they make choices about how they spend their cash.
What do men want?
…nearly half of all working wives bring home more bacon than their husbands, and that single women under 33 are out-earning their male counterparts.
These factors and others are affecting the courtship and marriage dance in complicated ways. The end result though is that more women are staying single and those who do marry are doing it later and later.
With both sexes earning plenty of money and remaining unattached – while crafting their own fun instant gratification lifestyles – well into their 20s and 30s, there is less pressure to wed all around.
I was struck by these two responses (presumably from men), which basically says that women do not receive a bonus or a premium on the dating market for being intelligent and successful.
They receive bonuses if they are young, fertile, beautiful and feminine:
Are women too intelligent and successful for men?
There is a grain of truth in what those guys are saying above: a smart, successful, attractive man is a great catch for a woman, but the reverse is not necessarily true if the woman outpaces the man in terms of earning power.
Men who are successful also want women who are successful because they don’t want to be worried about their wives not being able to hold their own in their social and professional circles.
Just because SOME men focus on ‘paying for youth and attractiveness’, it doesn’t mean that other men don’t value personality, intelligence and success.
One such couple, is the guy who’s a doctor and the girl who’s a dentist. In the past 5 years, she’s pulled in more money than he has, by a milestone (he’s still in residency).
Another couple, is a trader who married a woman who analyzes statistics. She makes more money than he does, and is in far more demand career-wise.
Besides, beauty fades, but personality and brains last forever.
I can’t imagine settling down for the rest of my life with someone who I liked to stare at and ogle, but was unable to hold a decent conversation with.
Why are women still single then?
Honestly, because some of them choose to be.
It may really be that those guys up there are making valid points for SOME women, but not for all.
If smart girls have dated guys and still haven’t really clicked or found anyone, then they’re choosing to stay single rather than be with someone they’re not 100% happy with, especially once you start working.
The pool definitely gets a lot smaller after college, and that is no joke.
Everyone has already been paired off like animals on Noah’s Ark by the time the last year rolls around, and within the next 5 years you hear a flurry of engagements, weddings, and even babies popping out in record time.
People you meet at work, are not necessarily people you can or would want to date. I was very lucky, but generally speaking, the prospects are not that hot.
I wouldn’t stop looking if I was single, and if it takes me until the age of 45 to find someone I could really share my life with, I’d rather wait until then and NOT settle.