Sounds odd for a PF blogger to say that she’s happy because there’s a new money drain to come right?
Well that’s because we’ll be adding a third little one to our new, growing family come next year.
That’s right, I’m having a baby.
*cue happy squeals and groans of disgust, depending on your own perspective on having babies*
Now a few things will inevitably have to change on this blog, but not a lot. I want to keep things the same as I possibly can.
I AM NOT TURNING INTO A MOMMY BLOGGER
As an Anonymous blogger, no pictures will be shown.
Just imagine that the baby looks like every other baby when it’s born (huge cheeks, squished eyes, red face), and it’ll be the same.
For the record, I do not plan on becoming a “mommy blogger”, or someone who writes about children or their children and raising said rugrats 100% of the time.
(By the way, please don’t ever use the word “preggers” with me. It irks me the same way “hubs” irks me when women refer to their husbands.)
I actually rather hate blogs that ONLY talk about their children, even with a personal finance twist.
I didn’t subscribe to them to hear about their kids, I am more interested in THEM and their ideas, you know?
I’d feel cheated as a reader if they suddenly threw a barrage of baby gushing posts at me when I am not expecting that, and I am not about to do that to you, readers.
It bores me to tears even now, trying to read up on what the kid needs as a mother-to-be, and I can only imagine how annoying it must be to everyone else to hear someone gush about their precious bundles of noise, when they’ve come to read about other more interesting things.
Babies and children pretty much only interest other people when there are good and humiliating stories to be told about them, or personal finance lessons to be learned.
Otherwise, they’re better to be enjoyed privately by family, friends and other interested parties and not publicly (that’s my opinion, anyway).
So no, I won’t be giving you updates on how they’re progressing, whether they’re pooing regularly and all that gushy, uninteresting parent crap. I’ll save that for people who can stomach it, like family and friends.
I WILL BE TALKING A TINY BIT ABOUT THE BABY THOUGH
That said, I will be talking a BIT about babies and children.
Not a lot, but a few posts here and there, such as:
A minimalist approach I am trying to a baby that grows every 3 months or less (STUFF! EVIL STUFF!) How I am now soliciting folks for used baby things, I am not picky but I am mostly trying to get unisex items.
The costs and money I spend and will be spending on this new baby (I am trying not to spend a lot. Babies don’t need houses, new cars, or fancy designer clothes.
It actually secretly peeves me when people say:
Oh congratulations you’re pregnant!
Now’s the time to invest in a home for the baby. You should buy a house right away.
Me: *death glare*
*holds back urge to rant about the lack of logic in what they just said, and to give the personal finance angle of why renting is preferable to buying a home*
All of that is a waste of money especially clothing because they grow so quickly. I’d rather save my money for better food, and activities when they get older like taking piano lessons, tutors, or paying for childcare.)
Buying NOT Made in China and other responsible items for the baby (e.g. only glass, not plastic, avoiding buying things for the kid that are plastic and so on and so forth as much as possible, and also trying to curb peoples’ enthusiasm to give me plastic gifts for the kid.)
Handling work (if it comes along), and maternity leave as a freelancer in Canada (I lightly touched on this before knowing I was pregnant and I plan on working until I give birth if I can.)
Maybe a few maternity fashion posts? Maybe not. I plan on living in maternity jeans and wrap dresses.
I am not keen to spend a lot of money in this department because I do not plan on keeping such clothes forever after I have a few kids.
Still, I don’t want to look like a slob especially if I have to work, so this will have to be a scrutinized wardrobe area for me.
I WILL STILL BE POSTING REGULARLY
“Regularly” might change to less than 7X a week, but we’ll see how fast I can type between now and when I am due.
I’ll aim for daily which means between now and the birth, I will need to write a total of 365 interesting, engaging posts.
So far, I have written up until the end of March 2014 (posting daily).
I am seeing it a lot like when I prepare to go on vacation.
I take months off at a time to go around the world, but I don’t want the flow of my posting to be interrupted because I am not organized (it irks me when I am not organized and on the ball, as you might have guessed).
Feel free to ignore this part.
The interesting blog bits are done.
I will finally be able to smugly say:
Actually, yes I AM a parent AND a minimalist who is no longer part of a DINK set (Dual-income No Kids).
To answer the few questions in comments that might inevitably come up (or not at all because you’re too polite to ask and I am too candid to hold back):
No I did not specifically plan this to happen.
It was a combination of my going off the pill for health reasons (blood clots found their ways into the deaths of 3 girls in Toronto when I decided to quit the pill), and I thought it was about time to have my first kid and get cracking on baby-making if I want more than one child.
My philosophy was: If it happens, it happens.
I was sick to my stomach a few days before and I was shuffled off to the doctor to determine why the heck I didn’t want to eat and why I felt like CRAP all the time.
The pleasant news was delivered after my doctor asked questions like:
1. Are you happy about this or not?
Read: Do you want/need an abortion?
2. Do you know who the father is?
Read: Did you just get knocked up in a bar by some stranger you don’t even know the name of?
3. Are you taking any medication, recreational or not?
Read: It might be time to stop those drugs if you’re an addict.
All kidding aside, she pretty much grilled me about those three questions in various ways during the interview to be SURE to obtain the truth from me, just in case I lied out of sheer shock of being told I was pregnant.
I told her truthfully that it was a surprise but a happy one. I did not plan anything like this to happen but I am not angry or upset that it did — I’m quite pleased in fact.
Yes, I am just as surprised as you are at how fertile I am.
I stopped the pill, and was pregnant 3 weeks later without actively trying for a baby. (You know what I mean by “actively trying”, don’t make me say it.)
Being the skinny, semi-vegan waif that I am, I somehow associated big hips and curves with being fertile, but apparently skinny chicks like me are just as fertile.
I had just heard of so many horror stories from my friends who have been (and some are still) desperately trying to have babies, that I felt like it would be inevitably my turn to moan and cry about WHAT I am doing wrong and WHY I am not pregnant.
Thankfully this was not the case.
How do I feel?
Again, more horror stories emerged about women throwing up daily, feeling nauseous all the time, not being able to eat.. that I pretty much gave up hope that I’d be able to be more than a baby-growing vegetable lying around with a bucket nearby, only venturing out a few times to see family and friends to tell them the big news.
Turns out, I am mostly tired all the time with a faint hint of nausea wafting about.
I am literally in the 25% of lucky women who don’t yak every morning.
Can you believe my luck? I can’t either.
I wake up late, eat a bit, nap for an hour or two, wake up, eat again, feel fatigued and try to make it to 8 p.m. without sleeping again.
I feel like I’m a cow being fattened for slaughter. Or this baby seal, lazing around and getting fat.
I drink about 5 litres of water a day (no joke, I am like a camel), and have to take breaks from walking after every hour and a half or so, because I get so tired and winded.
No my skin is not “glowing”
Alas, I think perfect skin is something I expected and have not gotten yet. I am told this will not really happen until well into the pregnancy. I am just OILY.
The worst part so far is my acne.
It flared like nuts all over my face because it was a combination of going off the pill AND hormones raging in my body.
Of course, it is not as bad as in my whole face became a mess of big red, flared, inflamed bumps, but it did cause me stress to see streaks of deep cystic acne appearing on my cheeks, chin and T-zone due to the increased oil production from the baby, and the pill working its way out of my system.
I hoping this clears up.
No, no strange food cravings lately..
Aside from my aversion to peas right now (among other vegetables and things), I haven’t had many food cravings or aversions. Nothing very strong anyway.
I do have a strange hankering for a burrito with lots of guacamole and Vietnamese pho, but so far I have not been requesting pickles and ice-cream.
Some days I can’t eat anything at all, and I have to force bread and clementines down my throat, and other days, I’m scarfing down grilled octopus like it’s my last meal.
Everyone keeps trying to feed me double portions and..well, who I am to refuse twice the serving of dessert or a great plate of pasta?
Pregnant women get ALL the perks of added food on their plate, and considering how much I already eat to maintain my rather fast metabolism, I am now eating three times the amount of a normal, full-sized grown man, but only having gained a 3 pounds in 13 weeks.
(BF can attest to this).
No we don’t have a preference of a boy or a girl
I want the baby to be healthy, whole, happy and I couldn’t care less if it’s a boy or a girl.
I’d treat them the same regardless of gender, and will not be going easy on girls to not study and work because they’re girls, or putting undue, extra pressure on boys to provide the bacon for their future spouses just because they’re boys or letting them off the hook for household chores.
I also haven’t thought about baby names at all but I think that will come along as I grow bigger.
I don’t want names that are hard to pronounce (“Siobhan” is a beautiful name but it trips up 90% of people who don’t know it’s pronounced “Shuh-vohn” and not “Sea-yoh-bahn”), spell or otherwise mess up in an Anglophone society.
I also don’t want any creatively spelled names like instead of “Lindsay”, some parents name their kids “Lyyndzee” to make their kid feel special and unique.
No fruits or celestial bodies either, I won’t be naming my kid Apple, Banana, Mangosteen, Pluto or Saturn any time soon.
Also, no gender-neutral or gender-confusing names like “Robin” or “Taylor” where you aren’t sure if it’s a boy or a girl.
No I am not getting married
You should have seen my mother’s face when she struggled to ask whether the child would be “legitimate or not”.
Mom: Wouldn’t the child be… be… *struggling with the delicacy of the situation*
Me: A bastard?
Mom: *horrified* NO! Don’t say bastard! I mean.. you know.. LEGAL?
Me: OHHhhh legitimate. Yeah in Ontario common-law couples with kids are legitimate even outside of marriage.
Mom: *half relieved, half not* .. I still think marriage would be nice.
Me: *shrug* Not a priority. A child is a greater commitment to a relationship than a piece of paper.
Either way, no one on any side of the family cares that we’re not married especially the French side.
Yes I already have future plans for the baby
What parent doesn’t?
I want them to grow up to be polite, well-mannered, hard working individuals that contribute to society the best they can.
For anyone who knows me via my blog ramblings or in real life, I do not tolerate foolishness of any sort and it will certainly not be the case with my kids.
I want to be tough but fair, as well as loving and flexible (but not to the point of spoiling them.)
I am also at the very least going to make sure they’re bilingual, if at the very least for the sake of them being able to converse with both sides of the family (French for his, English for mine).
Other than that, I don’t care what they turn out to have as a profession. I’d be equally pleased to have a mechanic daughter as I would an engineer son, so long as they’re happy and good at what they do.
They can go to college or not.
It’s up to them to make an informed decision with my help laying out the pros and cons but they will be sure to know that they are not going to be given money for school.
Yes, I plan on working AS MUCH AS I CAN…. if I can
I am still hustling for contracts.
I plan on working as much as I can until the day I give birth if I can, and believe me, I am REALLY TRYING to find a contract in between now and next year.
I know I will be taking at least 3 months of maternity leave, but I have a feeling 6 months to a year will be more like it unless a contract comes up I can’t say no to.
I am sticking to local contracts — Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa (we can always move there), and avoiding any that mandate: “Periodic air travel required.”
In fact, I’m pretty lucky in hindsight that I lost a BIG, HUGE contract recently, because I would have had to back out of the commitment anyway, seeing as I am now pregnant and can’t fly.
The contract required coast-to-coast travel once every month, and was for a long period of time which would not have worked if I wanted to take maternity leave for my unexpected bundle of crying joy.
I looked into getting maternity leave from the government but turns out, it is just not worth it for me as a freelancer to pay into it. What a scam.
In the end, things always seem to work out for me.
I feel pretty lucky recounting all the times things worked out for me and disappointments in lost contracts or cancelled trips ended up being the exact lucky thing that I needed to happen to prepare for the future without knowing it.
(That’s it. I promise. The last of my baby notes and gushing for now.)